Another hilarious post from Fin Heaven...

[Kontradiction]

This is from the "SWAMMI PREDICTIONS!!1" thread...

HERE IS MY COMPLETE GAME PREDICTIONS AND THEN SOME... HULKFish put on the Swammi hat for this one! This will take a little
time out of the boringness of waiting for training camp! I hear the voice of Greg Gumble (Gumbel?) commentating this... Worked on this ALL week!

Week 1: @ Washington - It's the beginning of the season and a new offense that has made strides throughout the preseason.
Coach Cam leans on his new running game with Cory Schlesinger getting a couple broken facemasks as he leads Ronnie to start
the season off with 125 yards and a TD on 24 carries. It's the D and special teams that carries the Dolphins though to a
tough win! Dolphins 13 Redskins 9

Week 2: Dallas - This is the HOME opener! Dolphins are running off of extra adrenaline of the home opener and a week 1
victory. They get off the line of scrimmage and dominate from there! The overlooked Vernon Carey has a couple pancakes and
opens some eyes while JT and JP scare Romo leading to a ZT TD! TO has a good day but isn't enough to overcome the sacks and
turnovers. Dolphins 20 Cowboys 17

Week 3: @ NY - Coming off 2 consecutive victories the Dolphins suffer there first let down. Pennington makes a couple
redzone TD's but Thomas Jones has a LONG day. Ronnie has another big day but it's not enough. Dolphins 20 Jets 23

Week 4: Oakland - After suffering our first loss of the season to a division rival the D comes out sniffing a rookie QB...
They quickly take advantage of the youthful JaMarcus Russell and force 4 turnovers and get 3 sacks. The offense shows some
improvement and the beginning of continuity to the tone of 4 TD's! Dolphins 35 Raiders 10

Week 5: @ Houston - REVENGE is the KEY word! 2 ugly losses in the past leave the team drooling for another shot at the
Texans. Zach eats up Ahman Green all day and the D gets 2 INT's! Ronnie leaves there D questioning themselves with a career
best 136 yards rushing and 60 yards receiving and 2 TD's! Dolphins 24 Texans 6

Week 6: @ Cleveland - This game is called the Vindication of Ginn! Ted looks to show Cleveland WHY he was picked at #9 with
the First kickoff of the game returned for a TD! Trent Green also makes it known why he's the starter with his first 300
yard game and 3 TD's. Dolphins 31 Browns 20

Week 7: NE - An exciting game that comes down to the 4th quarter with Miami and New England switching the lead a couple
times. Tom Brady has new weapons now that our D has to adjust too. Dolphins 24 Patriots 31

Week 8: NYG - SPOT ON LONDON! Here come the Dolphins rolling into Wembley Stadium with a chip on there shoulders after a
narrow division loss to NE... The Giants are playing the Dolphins at the wrong time! Eli throws 2 INT's and is sacked 4
times. Cam opens up the offense and lights them up! Dolphins 35 Giants 17

Week 9: Buffalo - After flying into the BYE week with a tastey win in London the Fins get back to it... Buffalo roles into
town only to be trampled in a Dolphin stampede! The front 7 of the D devastate and role to 4 sacks as Ronnie begins to carry
this offense to consistent heights. Solid again H2 runs for 120 yards and a pair of TD's! Ginn begins to get his feet a
little wet on the offensive side of the ball racking up a couple catches while Chambers begins to show Pro-Bowl caliber
talent. And the end of the day Buffalo limps out of town! Dolphins 24 Bills 9

Week 10: @ Philadelphia - Tough game on the road against of the best teams in the NFC. Maybe a little too ****y after a
couple W's McNabb and Westbrook connect on a couple TD's and grab an early lead. Trying to come from behind the rest of the
game Trent Green throws only his 5th INT of the year. Close but no cigar, team falls but remains consistent. Dolphins 17
Eagles 24

Week 11: @ Pittsburg - Our Ace in the hole, Joey Porter, gets this D ready to face his old team. Notching 2 sacks out of
pure spite and Anger Porter shows his old team what they're missing. JT gets to Big Ben once and Zach notches his 4th INT of
the year! With quite the Defensive lineup around him Zach Thomas is having yet again another brilliant season! Already
closing in on another 100 tackle season, this year he's looking to seize JT's Defensive MVP honors with 92 tackles, 3 sacks,
4 INT's, 2 TD's and 5 forced fumbles so far! The constant of the Offense, Ronnie Brown, rips a career long 70 yard TD run
and closes in on another 1000 yard season! Dolphins 27 Steelers 17

Week 12: NY - REVENGE has never been sweeter! coming off the road at 1-1 the Dolphins are happily back at home and against
there old nemesis, the Jets. A styfling performance by the defense leaves Pennington bruised and battered. Trent Green has
his second 300 yard game of the season leaving the J-E-T-S confused and shaken! Dolphins 31 Jets 0

Week 13: @ Buffalo - This is our letdown week. After a walloping of the Jets we once again go to Buffalo overconfident.
Green throws an INT and the defense get a little shocked again by Lee Evans. Dolphins 13 Bills 21

Week 14: Baltimore - Now sitting at a convincing 9-4 the Dolphins are tied with NE for 1st place in the division and the
playoffs within grasping distance! No setbacks this week the Offense jumps out of the gates against the stout Ravens D to 14
points! The D keeps McGahee and McNair in check all day... Dolphins 21 Ravens 16

 

[Kontradiction]

The original post was too long so I thought I'd save the best for last...

Week 15: @ NE - This is what the season has come down to, One final game to decide the fate of the division... One game to tell the tale of another brain-bashing season in the AFC East! It's cold, but no snow.
1st Quarter: The Patriots come out fast driving right down the field to a Moss TD. Miami's opening drive makes 1 first down!
The Patriots Second posession comes up short at mid-field. Miami gets another first down and sputters...
2nd Quarter: NE gets the ball again, have a couple nice runs to setup a midrange play-action pass to Welker. They come up
short though in field-goal range. (Patriots 10 Dolphins 0) Miami's offense gets descent field position after a 30 yard
return by Ginn, putting the Dolphins on their own 40! 3-yard run Ronnie, quick slant to Booker for 6. 3 and 1 from the
Dolphins 49, Ronnie Brown straight up the middle breaks a couple tackles for a gain of 8 and into Patriots territory! Quick
pass to Booker, quick pass to Chambers and the Dolphins are looking good! Drive sputters but cold weathered Feeley has no
problem converting the field goal! NE gets the ball back with about 3 minutes in the half... Hand-off to Maroney for a
short gain up the middle. Another run to the right for a short gain. Play-action to Moss for another first down. Now they
come out 5-wide! Welker in motion in the slot, Moss and Stallworth on the outside with Caldwell underneath. Brady drops
back, Jason Taylor comes up the middle for a sack! NE runs the ball again to run out some clock. Punt. Dolphins run a
couple plays and let the clock run out.
HALF-TIME: Dolphins 3 Patriots 10
3rd Quarter: Dolphins get the ball first. Ted Ginn catches the ball at the 7, jukes right then cuts to the middle of the
field! Dolphins get excellent field position at their 45! Offense sputters and goes 3 and out. Patriots get the ball back
at there 30. Deep pass Moss for a first down! Deep pass Stallworth for a first down! On the Dolphins 42. Couple hand-offs
then a play-action to Welker for a first down at the Dolphins 23. Brady throws a ball up in the end-zone, Touchdown RANDY
MOSS! (Patriots 17 Dolphins 3) Dolphins get the ball back and the offense moves on a couple runs to Brown. Dolphins go 3
wide with Chambers, Booker and Ginn. Chambers in the slot and Ginn out wide. Reverse, NO, double reverse to Ted Ginn! Ginn
gets out across mid-field to the Patriots 47! Another 5-yard gain for Brown. Play-Action, the ball is in the air floating
down the sideline... CAUGHT, Chris Chambers for a gain of 33 yards! The Dolphins are on the move for the first time all game!
From the 14 yard line. Single-Back formation, 2 tight ends. Play-action, David Martin to the outside and CAUGHT! Miami
Touchdown! Extra-point and the end of the 3rd quarter. Dolphins 10 Patriots 17
4th Quarter: Patriots ball, they go right down the field for another field goal! Patriots 20 Dolphins 10... Dolphins three
and out. Patriots get the ball back, play-action, Interception! Yeremiah Bell, running, cuts to the outside, Touchdown
Dolphins! Dolphins 17 Patriots 20. New Englands ball. Brady drops back to pass, sack Joey Porter! Quick pass to Welker for
a gain of 10. Quick slant to Ben Watson and a first down! Hand off Maroney for a short gain. Quick toss to Maroney and he
is stuffed in the backfield by Paul Soliai! 3:30 left on the clock, 3rd down. 4-wide formation. The Patriots run a draw
but Zach sniffs it out! PUNT. Dolphins start with the ball on their own 40. 2:52 seconds left. Short pass to Ronnie out in
the flat! He breaks a tackle and running into open field! Pushed out of bounds at the Patriots 38 for a 22 yard gain! 2:40
left on the clock. 4-wide formation, Chambers motions into the slot. Trent Green hits Chambers deep down the seam,
Touchdown Dolphins! Dolphins 17 Patriots 20. 2:12 left to play. Hand-off up the middle to Maroney for a short gain...
Patriots at their 36, trying to run the clock out. Handoff Maroney, he cuts to the outside! Crowder puts a monster hit on
him! THE BALL IS LOOSE! Dolphins recover and get the ball back at the 2-minute warning in Patriot territory! Ronnie Brown
up the middle and he is stuffed by Wilfork! Quick pass to Martin for a short-gain and the Dolphins are running out of time!
3rd and 5 with 1:27 seconds on the clock. Quick slant to Booker, he breaks a tackle and gets to the outside for a first
down, but is unable to get out of bounds... 52 seconds left on the clock, the Dolphins at the Patriots 28 yard line and in
field-goal range to go into overtime. No timeouts remaining they hurry up to the line of scrimmage... Hand-off Ronnie
Brown, he cuts to the outside for a gain of 8 to the 20 yard line. Quick up to the line of scrimmage with 33 seconds
remaining. Quick slant across the middle to Ted Ginn and he makes a quick move, TOUCHDOWN DOLPHINS! 25 seconds left on the
clock! Ted Ginn gets his 5th TD of the year to earn the Dolphins first divisional win in quite a few years if they can just
hold on! The Patriots get the ball at midfield with 20 seconds remaining, 5-wide... Brady drops back, feeling pressure from
Jason Taylor he gets rid of it, interception Zach Thomas!!! That's it, the Dolphins WIN the AFC East! Dolphins 24 Patriots
20

Week 16: The Dolphins return home at 11-4 and the AFC East Champions! Out of gas from an emotional win on the road they fall
short at home. Dolphins 17 Bengals 23

11-5 and into the PLAYOFFS!!! I'll leave the rest up to your imagination...

:bricks: I think Zach has like six interceptions in this fantasy season and Ronnie Brown racks up over 2,000 yards. 11-5? Come on, Dolfans... let's be realistic. You're looking at maybe a 6-10 season, 7-9 if you're lucky. Green will be pulled by Week 7 and Beck will have to undergo a crash course in NFL football. I've seen some threads over there that made me piss my pants, but this one takes the cake.

 

[Double G]

You left out one key thing.............

Regards,
Ballsack4ever

 

[zippo59]

I'd say I felt a bet coming on but we all know how that turned out the last time.

 

[reflexblue]

IN his last line he say's 11and 5 in the playoffs use you imagination.Well I don't know about useing mine. But I know his is alive and well and he's useing it.For awhile I thought he was going to say the fins were going to go 16and 0.

 

[Kdo5]

He typed all that junk? What a waste of time.

 

[Double G]

I guess the beauty of football is it's a 16 game season, every game means something and it's nice to think your team has a shot when you look at their schedule.

I mean how many of us after BB's first season and their 5-5 record 10 games into his second season thought we had a shot at the playoffs, much less the Super Bowl and winning the thing; but, they did and THAT is what makes football the best sport by far.

All of that said, these are the Doofins the ballbag is talking about; they've got ZERO shot.

 

[Aqua4Ever04]

It's all fun and just exciting. Big deal, he's optimistic.

 

[zippo59]

It's all fun and just exciting. Big deal, he's optimistic.

So I can say the Patriots are going 16-0 and you have no right to laugh at me?

 

[PATRIOT64]

Give the kid a break...for a 6 year old that was one damn good fantasy season for Miami and boy can he type at such a tender age.

C'mon,either he is a total idiot or he is 6 years old - There is no other logical explanantion for that dribble he wrote,******ed people can type too you know.

 

[Kontradiction]

Aqua didn't post that. It was someone named HulkFish or something. I not only think it's laughable that he thinks the Fins are going to win 11 games, but I also think it's hilarious that he actually believes that the Fins are going to win in Foxboro in December. There's a reason why my cousin (who is a Dolfan) has a case full of shot glasses engraved with the words "Do Not Use Until December".

 

[PATRIOT64]

Aqua didn't post that. It was someone named HulkFish or something. I not only think it's laughable that he thinks the Fins are going to win 11 games, but I also think it's hilarious that he actually believes that the Fins are going to win in Foxboro in December. There's a reason why my cousin (who is a Dolfan) has a case full of shot glasses engraved with the words "Do Not Use Until December".

While its highly unlikely we lose to Miami I don't think you had predicted the Jets beating us down at home last november either...Am I correct?

NO ONE outside of 'Jetsville' thought the Jets would pull that one out in Foxboro - NO ONE

And remember if you go by the past 2 years in november or december,we have lost at least 1 game at home in each of those 2 years although that one against Miami 2 years ago was BS with all starters sitting.

 

[mtbykr]

We should save that and have a running update on it after every game during the season!

 

[Trenchwarfare]

Give the kid a break...for a 6 year old that was one damn good fantasy season for Miami and boy can he type at such a tender age.

C'mon,either he is a total idiot or he is 6 years old - There is no other logical explanantion for that dribble he wrote,******ed people can type too you know.

I hope you can read as well as you insult. The Rules of this forum are :


1) No personal attacks or profanity. We welcome fans from other teams who want to come here and talk football. I don't expect visiting fans to agree with the views we have of our players. But if you think Tom Brady stinks, you'll need to explain why you think he stinks, and you had better make sure you don't call someone here a name because you disagree. The same holds true for Patriots fans. This is your home turf, but please carry yourself with class and show fans of other teams that same respect. If something happens that you feel the moderators or myself needs to know, click the "report a post" icon.

2) No flaming. Don't come into a thread two or three posts in and throw in a once sentence reply and call someone "stupid" or "ignorant". Take the time to explain why you're so intelligent that everyone needs to stop what they're talking about and see your side. The same holds true for Patriots fans.

 

[Kontradiction]

I hope you can read as well as you insult. The Rules of this forum are :


1) No personal attacks or profanity. We welcome fans from other teams who want to come here and talk football. I don't expect visiting fans to agree with the views we have of our players. But if you think Tom Brady stinks, you'll need to explain why you think he stinks, and you had better make sure you don't call someone here a name because you disagree. The same holds true for Patriots fans. This is your home turf, but please carry yourself with class and show fans of other teams that same respect. If something happens that you feel the moderators or myself needs to know, click the "report a post" icon.

2) No flaming. Don't come into a thread two or three posts in and throw in a once sentence reply and call someone "stupid" or "ignorant". Take the time to explain why you're so intelligent that everyone needs to stop what they're talking about and see your side. The same holds true for Patriots fans.

And who the hell are you? Well, besides some newbie. Pay attention, insults have been thrown around down here for a while now. This is nothing new.

 

[patriotspride]

I hope you can read as well as you insult. The Rules of this forum are :


1) No personal attacks or profanity. We welcome fans from other teams who want to come here and talk football. I don't expect visiting fans to agree with the views we have of our players. But if you think Tom Brady stinks, you'll need to explain why you think he stinks, and you had better make sure you don't call someone here a name because you disagree. The same holds true for Patriots fans. This is your home turf, but please carry yourself with class and show fans of other teams that same respect. If something happens that you feel the moderators or myself needs to know, click the "report a post" icon.

2) No flaming. Don't come into a thread two or three posts in and throw in a once sentence reply and call someone "stupid" or "ignorant". Take the time to explain why you're so intelligent that everyone needs to stop what they're talking about and see your side. The same holds true for Patriots fans.

blow it out your ass di-khead.lol

 

[Aqua4Ever04]

So I can say the Patriots are going 16-0 and you have no right to laugh at me?

1 team in NFL history has gone undefeated. The odds of that are ridiculously bad. There's no reason to say it's impossible for the Dolphins to do what the Saints did last year.

 

[dalero]

1 team in NFL history has gone undefeated. The odds of that are ridiculously bad. There's no reason to say it's impossible for the Dolphins to do what the Saints did last year.

Why don't you Pay up?

 

[reflexblue]

It's all fun and just exciting. Big deal, he's optimistic.

You and he should get together,and bring some freinds.It'll take alot of people to mix all the KOOL AID their drinking in FINNLAND.

OH YEA,And pay your bill!!!!

 

[Double G]

Beautiful, some ballbag with all of 31 posts is telling the rest of us the rules of the forum.

Takes all kinds.........