PATS16N0
Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2012
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I'm doing a documentary on the most idiotic fans on earth, so after careful consideration, decided to go with Denver.
I started studying Denver Bronco fans in 2011, during Tebowmania.
The first thing you should know about Denver Bronco fans is they operate like a clock. In fact, they're the most predictable fans in the entire league.
An example:
Every single time they play the Patriots, they talk themselves up with a lot of chest pounding and discuss how they're going to destroy us. (they hate us so bad we're like acid in their mouth)
They ramble about this to no end, giving each other reasons why they're no possible way they could lose, which they all unanimously agree upon.
Then comes kick off and they get thoroughly humiliated.
Maybe it's 45-3, with a Tom Brady trollololol punt, followed by a Von Miller smackdown on national television.
Tom Brady's 3rd Down Punt + Von Miller Brawl - YouTube
Maybe it's our one word hurry-up and we expose them as complete frauds that will be mocked and ridiculed on ESPN for the rest of the week.
New England Patriots No Huddle One Word - YouTube
Or maybe they steal our offense from the previous year, take our #1 receiver, get spotted 24 points by flukey turn overs, and lose anyway in front of the entire country.
The next part of this repetitive process is for them to go into complete meltdown mode, talk about how the sky is falling for a week, about how they're never going to win the real Lombardi to go along with the imaginary one that they already somehow awarded themselves a month earlier, and cry themselves to sleep.
Clockwork.
After this process is completed, they beat some NFL bottom feeder, or a vastly overrated playoff pretender, make themselves feel better, and begin discussing us again (who they are infatuated with) with an air of superiority, and about how next time they're going to destroy us.
And they do this right up until the point that we destroy them again.
This repeating loop, which replays itself over, and over, and over again, never ceases to amuse, never ceases to amaze, and never ceases to disappoint. It's actually nothing short of comical.
About as comical as their assuring each other that Peyton Manning can play in the cold.
About as comical as their thinking they'll always beat us after signing a quarterback that never can.
About as comical as believing a WR, with a reputation for coming up short when it matters most, is a compliment to a QB... who has the exact same reputation.
But this is all because the Denver Bronco fan is a comical creature.
Last year they awarded themselves the imaginary 2012 Superbowl championship, 2 months before the actual Superbowl, despite losing to every single last play off team they played. They then went on, to nobody's surprise but their own, to lose their first play off game.
This year, they've once again awarded themselves the imaginary 2013 Superbowl championship, despite being humiliated in big games to two of the teams they'll likely be facing in the play offs. This, of course, makes perfect sense, because regardless of the fact that they lost to most of the teams they'll actually have to play, they have defeated NFL power houses such as the Raiders, Jaguars, and Redskins.
Yes, the Denver Bronco fan lacks a good memory. It's a good thing they aren't the Denver Elephants, because that would make no sense at all. In fact, they probably have the worst memory of any fan base in the league, which is a nice attribute to go along with their delusions and arrogance, which is as unbridled as it is unwarranted.
Denver Bronco (or jack ass) is obviously a much more fitting name.
I never stop learning from the wisdom of a Denver Bronco fan, however.
Just today I learned that Superbowl championships, which are objectively earned in actual championship football, are no match for MVP awards, which are subjectively voted on by a bunch of anonymous fat guys far from an actual football field, and have about as much worth as an MTV movie award for best kiss.
The documentary is coming along nicely.
I'm hoping to move it along into its final stage of production shortly after the Denver Bronco team hits the golf course in early January, and will be providing a closed screening for members of Patsfans.com.
Please look forward to it.
I started studying Denver Bronco fans in 2011, during Tebowmania.
The first thing you should know about Denver Bronco fans is they operate like a clock. In fact, they're the most predictable fans in the entire league.
An example:
Every single time they play the Patriots, they talk themselves up with a lot of chest pounding and discuss how they're going to destroy us. (they hate us so bad we're like acid in their mouth)
They ramble about this to no end, giving each other reasons why they're no possible way they could lose, which they all unanimously agree upon.
Then comes kick off and they get thoroughly humiliated.
Maybe it's 45-3, with a Tom Brady trollololol punt, followed by a Von Miller smackdown on national television.
Tom Brady's 3rd Down Punt + Von Miller Brawl - YouTube
Maybe it's our one word hurry-up and we expose them as complete frauds that will be mocked and ridiculed on ESPN for the rest of the week.
New England Patriots No Huddle One Word - YouTube
Or maybe they steal our offense from the previous year, take our #1 receiver, get spotted 24 points by flukey turn overs, and lose anyway in front of the entire country.
The next part of this repetitive process is for them to go into complete meltdown mode, talk about how the sky is falling for a week, about how they're never going to win the real Lombardi to go along with the imaginary one that they already somehow awarded themselves a month earlier, and cry themselves to sleep.
Clockwork.
After this process is completed, they beat some NFL bottom feeder, or a vastly overrated playoff pretender, make themselves feel better, and begin discussing us again (who they are infatuated with) with an air of superiority, and about how next time they're going to destroy us.
And they do this right up until the point that we destroy them again.
This repeating loop, which replays itself over, and over, and over again, never ceases to amuse, never ceases to amaze, and never ceases to disappoint. It's actually nothing short of comical.
About as comical as their assuring each other that Peyton Manning can play in the cold.
About as comical as their thinking they'll always beat us after signing a quarterback that never can.
About as comical as believing a WR, with a reputation for coming up short when it matters most, is a compliment to a QB... who has the exact same reputation.
But this is all because the Denver Bronco fan is a comical creature.
Last year they awarded themselves the imaginary 2012 Superbowl championship, 2 months before the actual Superbowl, despite losing to every single last play off team they played. They then went on, to nobody's surprise but their own, to lose their first play off game.
This year, they've once again awarded themselves the imaginary 2013 Superbowl championship, despite being humiliated in big games to two of the teams they'll likely be facing in the play offs. This, of course, makes perfect sense, because regardless of the fact that they lost to most of the teams they'll actually have to play, they have defeated NFL power houses such as the Raiders, Jaguars, and Redskins.
Yes, the Denver Bronco fan lacks a good memory. It's a good thing they aren't the Denver Elephants, because that would make no sense at all. In fact, they probably have the worst memory of any fan base in the league, which is a nice attribute to go along with their delusions and arrogance, which is as unbridled as it is unwarranted.
Denver Bronco (or jack ass) is obviously a much more fitting name.
I never stop learning from the wisdom of a Denver Bronco fan, however.
Just today I learned that Superbowl championships, which are objectively earned in actual championship football, are no match for MVP awards, which are subjectively voted on by a bunch of anonymous fat guys far from an actual football field, and have about as much worth as an MTV movie award for best kiss.
The documentary is coming along nicely.
I'm hoping to move it along into its final stage of production shortly after the Denver Bronco team hits the golf course in early January, and will be providing a closed screening for members of Patsfans.com.
Please look forward to it.
