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The Pats handled it right with the Commissioner's office.
No matter who else might or might not have done the same or similar thing and where and how often they might or might not have done it without being punished, the Pats were caught red-handed violating a pretty clearly drawn league memo, while offering a "the dog ate my homework" excuse built around a fictional and far-fetched "misunderstanding" of when the tapes were to be used or not used.
Even had they fought it publicly, the Commissioner had the majority of the media, teams and fans calling for far worse penalties, including the suspension of Coach Belichick for a season.
Most people outside of Patriot Nation still feel that the "fix was in" and that Goodell destroyed evidence of even worse behavior by the Patriots; that, of course, doesn't make it true, but it was part of the equation at the time.
And, as someone pointed out above, Goodell had a clear agenda to strengthen discipline in the league and, unfortunately, this played right into his hands. As a result, it's fair to say that both the Spygate and the Bountygate decisions were as much political decisions as they were decisions on the merits.
Finally, we don't know what happened between Mr. Kraft and the NFL Office behind the scenes. The Patriots organization is one of the most powerful and influential in the league, so I think we can assume that they pushed it as far as they could without undermining Goodell's broader agenda.
The question of whether the Pats should have defended themselves more vigorously in the court of public opinion when the HSPN lies were flying on a daily basis is a separate issue, so this comment applies only to the Pats' relationship with the League office.
Robert does care about the court of public opinion substantially more than Bill does. That said, not enough to cut his nose off to spite his face. When spygate resurfaced purely as a media driven vendetta, and he knew there was no substance to the allegations and the league was only investigating them because of media pressure, he did defend himself vigorously and was vindicated publicly (although to what end since as others have mentioned many in the media to this day persist in misrepresenting that, too).
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