and on that theme, I just got a preview of the Globe Headline this coming Sunday-on page B 28):
PATS DECIDE IT'S HOPELESS-FORFEIT TO COLTS!!!
BY CHB
In breaking news, the once mighty NE Patriots, after agonizing on all of their options, decided not to board their flight to Indianapolis. A source close to the team (hint: Ron Bores-us) said the decider was when the brilliant Shannon Sharpe picked the Colts by an AV field goal.
"What's the point?", said ex-coach Bill Bellichick (sic). "Why bother to go against Shannon?" BB, the former gridiron genius has just signed an exclusive contract to be a fashion consultant with Brooks Brothers.
And this just in: the ever financially frugal Kraft family not only canceled the hotel and flight reservations to Indy, but also announced the team would return to Foxboro from San Diego via Peter Pan, at the players' expense. A team spokesman said that these savings would be re-invested by hiring the the league's true genius, Art Shell to be new head coach, after freshly available Marty Schottenheimer, Bill Parcells, and Nick Saban all turned the job down. Terms of Shell's contract have yet to be revealed, but RB disclosed that the job will pay $10,000 per year (part time), with a $10 bonus in the unlikely event that the Pats win a game in 2007. The team has also decided to skip the upcoming 2007 draft, as the entire scouting staff has been raided by coach Mangini of the NY Jets.
The Globe regrets that it cannot provide further updates, as Sox pitchers and catchers are due to report to training camp in just 27 days...