Maker's Muppet
On the Roster
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2012
- Messages
- 79
- Reaction score
- 10
For a few years now we've been treated to a bunch a fans whining and moaning about the Patriots, about how the magic is lost. Glad to see most of the fans here are feeling the mojo, but for those still shivering in their knickers, time to put on your big-boy pants and get down to Gillette this Saturday.
Tickets will be selling for a couple Benjamins ($200) because CHB and his friends think the Patriots suck (they should be selling for 5x that to see this great team). You have $200 worth of recyclable beer cans in the back seat of your car right now. What in the world are you saving the $200 for? Dinner at Applebees? If you're still not ready to commit to spending $200 to see this game, you're probably the type of person who needs to be told that you won't be able to bring your girl to see Justin Bieber in concert for $200.
The constant crying stops now. "Brady plays scared in the playoffs against great pass rushing D's like the Ravens, waaah!" "The defense isn't aggressive enough, sob!" "I hate bend-but-don't-break!" Let me get your pacifier, you big crybaby. You're so sad because Mayo isn't tough enough for you and Chung isn't good enough for you and Brady's hair isn't short enough for you? Next you'll be telling me that Spikes is too long for you (guess what: you're right).
If you don't know who Tommy Hodson is and can't remember Ron Erhardt, and you think you're so special and you deserve only Cuban cigars, 24 year old scotch and the finest Corinthian leather, well you're going to have to prove this Saturday 3:00pm at One Patriot Place. Maybe you'll complain about the 40 degree weather and the light rain and the fact that you can't afford to sit behind the plexiglass with CHB and his friends. The question you should be asking is "Am I good enough for this team?" and the answer is actually, "No." Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you.
I don't want to hear any of your excuses.
"My wife will kill me if I skip the dinner party and fly/drive to podunk Foxboro for the game." Who is telling your wife? Not Maker's Muppet. He doesn't even know your wife (as far as you know).
"I just cannot invest my time and money in this team only to have my heart broken by Terrell Suggs again." Hate to be the one to break it to you, kemosabe, but your time just isn't that important. Remember that night you didn't show up at the party and the other three couples cancelled the event? Me neither. Plus you're probably more likely to get more invites from your pathetic friends if they think you have better things to do occasionally than sit around eating quiche and drinking chardonnay with them. Besides, how important is your "time" really when you routinely visit a website called "patsfans.com?"
"But MakersMuppet, I live too far away to go to this game." Was Adam Vinatieri too far away from the goalposts against the Raiders on that snowy frigid 2002 night? Was Wes Welker too far from the end zone when he grabbed a short pass and ran it for a 99 yards TD? Your attitude makes me want to puke.
I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Ravens fans who will wheel into Boston, toothless mouths agape at the "big clean city," with their wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly purple outfits looking like Violet Beauregard, loping around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before. If those Western Maryland Hillbillies can take the mule to the covered wagon to the stagecoach and still get to Foxboro for the game, the least you can do is get off your lazy behind and catch a damned train or fly or take the dame MBTA! Unless, of course, you're admitting that you're so afraid to put your faith in this team. And that's OK, there are other things you can be involved in other than rooting for the Patriots. Like knitting, or Worlds of Warcraft or having pretend light saber battles with your imaginary friends. If that's the way you want to go out, be my guest. I'll see the rest of you Saturday. I'll be at the Razor rooting for the Patriots.
Tickets will be selling for a couple Benjamins ($200) because CHB and his friends think the Patriots suck (they should be selling for 5x that to see this great team). You have $200 worth of recyclable beer cans in the back seat of your car right now. What in the world are you saving the $200 for? Dinner at Applebees? If you're still not ready to commit to spending $200 to see this game, you're probably the type of person who needs to be told that you won't be able to bring your girl to see Justin Bieber in concert for $200.
The constant crying stops now. "Brady plays scared in the playoffs against great pass rushing D's like the Ravens, waaah!" "The defense isn't aggressive enough, sob!" "I hate bend-but-don't-break!" Let me get your pacifier, you big crybaby. You're so sad because Mayo isn't tough enough for you and Chung isn't good enough for you and Brady's hair isn't short enough for you? Next you'll be telling me that Spikes is too long for you (guess what: you're right).
If you don't know who Tommy Hodson is and can't remember Ron Erhardt, and you think you're so special and you deserve only Cuban cigars, 24 year old scotch and the finest Corinthian leather, well you're going to have to prove this Saturday 3:00pm at One Patriot Place. Maybe you'll complain about the 40 degree weather and the light rain and the fact that you can't afford to sit behind the plexiglass with CHB and his friends. The question you should be asking is "Am I good enough for this team?" and the answer is actually, "No." Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you.
I don't want to hear any of your excuses.
"My wife will kill me if I skip the dinner party and fly/drive to podunk Foxboro for the game." Who is telling your wife? Not Maker's Muppet. He doesn't even know your wife (as far as you know).
"I just cannot invest my time and money in this team only to have my heart broken by Terrell Suggs again." Hate to be the one to break it to you, kemosabe, but your time just isn't that important. Remember that night you didn't show up at the party and the other three couples cancelled the event? Me neither. Plus you're probably more likely to get more invites from your pathetic friends if they think you have better things to do occasionally than sit around eating quiche and drinking chardonnay with them. Besides, how important is your "time" really when you routinely visit a website called "patsfans.com?"
"But MakersMuppet, I live too far away to go to this game." Was Adam Vinatieri too far away from the goalposts against the Raiders on that snowy frigid 2002 night? Was Wes Welker too far from the end zone when he grabbed a short pass and ran it for a 99 yards TD? Your attitude makes me want to puke.
I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Ravens fans who will wheel into Boston, toothless mouths agape at the "big clean city," with their wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly purple outfits looking like Violet Beauregard, loping around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before. If those Western Maryland Hillbillies can take the mule to the covered wagon to the stagecoach and still get to Foxboro for the game, the least you can do is get off your lazy behind and catch a damned train or fly or take the dame MBTA! Unless, of course, you're admitting that you're so afraid to put your faith in this team. And that's OK, there are other things you can be involved in other than rooting for the Patriots. Like knitting, or Worlds of Warcraft or having pretend light saber battles with your imaginary friends. If that's the way you want to go out, be my guest. I'll see the rest of you Saturday. I'll be at the Razor rooting for the Patriots.
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