Announcer: Peyton uses football to teach valuable lessons of communication.
[ Peyton and the kids set up a play and go into action ]
Peyton Manning: [ yells toward kid running across the field ] Open! Get open!
[ Peyton hurls the football at the kid, hitting him in the back and knocking him to the grass ]
Peyton Manning: Get your head out of your ASS!! You SUCK!!
[ another play begins ]
Peyton Manning: Alright, let's go! Let's go! Get back IN here!! [ to the kid he just knocked down ] Except you. I can't even look at you. You know what? Go sit in the Port-o-let for twenty minutes. [ the kids walks away, ashamed of his performance ] That's right. Just STAY in there!
Announcer: There's no substitute for the hands-on guidance a mentor can provide.
[ cut to Peyton showing the kids how to jimmy his way into a locked SUV ]
Peyton Manning: Then, if you just push it a little further, you should hear a little CLICK!
Boy: Why don't we just use your key?
Peyton Manning: I told you -- I forgot 'em. [ a siren from a cop car sounds ] Cops! Cops! [ starts running ] Everybody for himself!
[ cut to Peyton holding his belt in his hands, as a young boy clamps down on the belt with his teeth ]
Announcer: Just a few hours of Peyton's time helps create childhood memories that will last a lifetime --
Peyton Manning: Just keep biting down. It's looking good.
[ reveal that a tattoo artist is inking a head shot of Peyton Manning on the kid's leg ]
Peyton Manning: That's a handsome tattoo. Uh-huh. It's gonna be there forever.
Announcer: -- ethics --
[ show Peyton addressing the kids while clutching a beer bottle ]
Peyton Manning: Alright, I'll KILL a snitch! I'm not saying I have, I'm not saying I haven't. you know what I mean. [ shrugs ] Whatever. You're getting on my f--king nerves.
[ cut to title card ]
Announcer: The NFL and the United Way. Spend time with your kids.. so Peyton Manning doesn't.
[ cut back to Peyton addressing the kids ]
Peyton Manning: You kids all want to live with me in my mansion?
Kids: YEAHHH!!!!
Peyton Manning: Calm down, calm down. There's no f--king way!
[ fade ]
