Week 2 -- Getting out of BBQ to see Pats game

[Patjew]

I prefer Hebrew National Hot Dogs when I am watching the game,Although my wife isn't jewish she still enjoys them anyway

That's smart b/c you know they are real beef, as opposed to the god-knows-what kinda stuff that goes into Gentile National Hot Dogs.

 

[Patjew]

Important remembering that lying and subterfuge is demeaning and undignified. Real men don't grovel. Unless it's for sex, of course. And then it can be called foreplay.

Good line.

 

[TheGodInAGreyHoodie]

Exactly right.

kosher pigs-in-blankets

Kosher pig? My rabbi said that pigs were a no-no.

 

[Patjew]

Kosher pig? My rabbi said that pigs were a no-no.

He must be orthodox. As long as you circumcize the pig yourself, he's good to eat.

 

[PATRIOT64]

That's smart b/c you know they are real beef, as opposed to the god-knows-what kinda stuff that goes into Gentile National Hot Dogs.

You could be a Hebrew National commercial guy Patjew

A true representative of our nationality!

 

[Patjew]

You could be a Hebrew National commercial guy Patjew

A true representative of our nationality!

The irony is that I'm actually a vegetarian.

 

[TheGodInAGreyHoodie]

He must be orthodox. As long as you circumcize the pig yourself, he's good to eat.

No, SHE is reconstructionist.

 

[PATRIOT64]

The irony is that I'm actually a vegetarian.

More power to you,I could never have the will power

Those Shofar Burgers are my favorite!

 

[Patjew]

No, SHE is reconstructionist.

Oh, there you go then. You know that women hate pigs.

 

[nepatz11]

I have some friends who have an open house for a house they own and rent on Sunday at 3. They dont have to be there but I suggested to them they move it because who will go to an open house during a Pats game. Am I just a nutty fan or is that wrong? If I ever get married will I have to go to open houses on Sunday afternoons? That could be a real bummer man.

 

[TheBaronPatriot]

Some options:

• Show up early and eagerly ask to help... almost to an annoying point, be so freindly they want you to leave
• Get drunk as hell, or at least make people think that you are so that you have to be driven home because you are no longer socially acceptable
• Eat something you just found out you are allergic to
• get a frantic phone call from a buddy who needs to talk/favor/ride/bail
• fake an injury, twist an ankle, tear an acl? which will cause you to go home
• develop a fever - go home
• recruit an ally in watching the pats if you go with option 3, there is strength in numbers, and your strength can be greatly enhanced if you get kids involved in the game, especially if you play catch with them before hand/ play touch football - involve all kids, even the ones that suck
• find an irritable fellow (man/woman - strangers work best) and engage them in a political discussion. The actual side you pick is irrelevant, you want somebody whose ***** you can set on fire with anger. At that point you get so offended you have to leave

Me?
I'd probably fake an injury playing with kids, or have a friend call me for DUI bail... but then everything magically gets cleared up b/c he knew a guy... etc. This must be a friend who can take judgment from wife. Or if you are more sensible, a friend whose wife just left him.... in the middle of a fight, needs to talk - this will require good acting

 

[Patjew]

If I ever get married will I have to go to open houses on Sunday afternoons? That could be a real bummer man.

Not if you choose the right wife.

 

[BlitzFritz]

Wow, even more tremendous insights!!

Shazam reminded me that I left out a key point in the beginning. I travel a lot during the work week (to pay for the barn and luxury of the family) which makes my Pats obsession a sizable percentage of the full weekend of family togetherness. No matter!!

 

[Willie55]

My advise is that you need to establish with your wife that there are 19 3 1/2 timeframes each year that are non-negotiable.
Anthing planned during a Patriots game will have to be done without you.
Establish this up front, and avoid these issues in the future.

If you step back you will realize that there are a lot more than 67 hours a year that your wife expects to be in control of, so you arent really asking for a lot.

Thats what I do. If she says something is going on during the time a Pats game is on, I say I'm not going to go. I explain it's my 3 hour window on Sundays in the fall I get to myself to watch the game.

Any of the numerous other hours of the year I'll do anything for anybody and be anywhere they want me to be.

 

[JAYHAWKS34]

So last week's strategy of taking the wives to Gillette and upgrading to club seats was a success. My wife is now on board with the story around the Pats season, and is dismayed about TB injury.
(http://www.patsfans.com/new-england-patriots/messageboard/showthread.php?t=115966)

Now Week 2 -- Some lame friends have scheduled their annual BBQ party at 3pm on Sunday. WTF!!! (Sacrilige). This is SO PAINFUL for me - I usually watch away games in my cave-like barn on a big hi def screen - no phone call interruptions allowed etc.

Dear Patsfans, what is the right strategy now?

1. Use all good will from last week, and basically refuse to go to the party. "Cassel's first game (against ManJudas!!) is too important." I used this approach before (e.g., 2004 Ravens mud game to get out of a concert date with my wife when they changed the game time.) However this would definitely put me in a marital net negative position heading into week 3....

2. DVR the game, which sucks because it will be impossible to avoid information about the game during the party. Plus, watching a DVR game is not the same. It always feels rushed, fast forwarding through commercials, inbetween plays etc.

3. Sit and watch the game at the party, be totally anti-social, and not give a **** what anyone thinks. This would be difficult, and require strong powers of concentration. I also might take on some damage from my wife, but certainly not as much as #1.

Unfortunately, given how early in the season this is, I am leaning toward #3. If this were December, I would be leaning toward #1.
(secret hope -- potential rainstorms wash out the party!!)

Looking for answers and brilliant advice,
FRITZ

# 3 and keep the keg close..

 

[signbabybrady]

divorce her :banned:

 

[patsfaninpittsburgh]

Hey patjew

That excuse is a state secret.

What I don't understand is how can there be a party without the game on? Are these metro sexual friends? Even the lamest friends should understand that football takes center stage come Sunday.

Hate to say it, but here in " the 'burgh", this would not be a problem.

 

[patchick]

He must be orthodox. As long as you circumcize the pig yourself, he's good to eat.

Don't forget the double negative effect -- you can eat any swine boiled in its mother's milk.


But a reality check here...BlitzFritz, the game WILL be on at the party, right? So the calamity is just that you'll be forced to watch it in the presence of other people? Umm...dude.

Personally I'm on tap to watch the kids all weekend, since Mr. Patchick has a massive project due Monday and is staying up until 2:00 am every night feverishly trying to finish it. My kids are good for one quarter of football, tops, then it's Gil & Gino, IF I'm lucky.

 

[JAYHAWKS34]

Don't forget the double negative effect -- you can eat any swine boiled in its mother's milk.


But a reality check here...BlitzFritz, the game WILL be on at the party, right? So the calamity is just that you'll be forced to watch it in the presence of other people? Umm...dude.

Personally I'm on tap to watch the kids all weekend, since Mr. Patchick has a massive project due Monday and is staying up until 2:00 am every night feverishly trying to finish it. My kids are good for one quarter of football, tops, then it's Gil & Gino, IF I'm lucky.

i'm never getting married....

 

[NEGIRLPATSFAN]

If it really went that well last Sunday, maybe you should try to tell your wife that Cassell's first game is REALLY important, and it is the JETS....
She was there last week, she has to have some clue how important this is...
A BBQ on football Sunday, Unless it is all football fans and has a movie screen playing the game, Hell no, hon
be honest with wifey...gonna be a long season
(she might wanna blow off the party and watch it herself....in the house of course, never to enter the inner sanctum of the BARN