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Re: Report: Edelman, Ridley, Thompkins, Dobson, Boyce, Hooman placed on season ending
Originally Posted by Ice_Ice_Brady
Amendola and Gronkowski officially ruled out.
Vegas has adjusted the spread to Pats -17.
EDIT (Update, 4:30 PM): Several sources close to the team tell us that Leon Washington and Matthew Slater bumped heads running full speed (Three Stooges style.) Both have concussions are probably won't be cleared to play for another six weeks. Brandon Bolden ran to the aid of his teammates, but he slipped over a giant prop-like banana peel that had been left behind by the Ringling Bros. Circus. Fortunately, LaGarette Blount caught Bolden in the air, but unfortunately, both then fell to the ground with dislocated shoulders. A source tells me that are both out indefinitely.
Edit (Update, 5:18 PM): The Patriots have re-signed tight end Daniel Fells.
Edit (Update, 7:27 PM) A major news station reports that Fells' plane crashed over Ohio on the way to Foxboro. Fells survived the crash, but he tore his ACL and MCL. He will be placed on season-ending IR. Remarkably, no one else on the 350 passenger plane was injured, except for Jabar Gaffney, who was flying to Foxboro for a physical. Gaffney sprained his hip flexor and will likely be out for at least a month.
Edit (Update, 7:33 PM) The Center of Disease Control has issued a statement regarding today's unlikely outbreak of polio: "We ask that everyone remain calm and remain isolated from the general population." According to reports, three US citizens inexplicably lost the ability to walk this afternoon after being inflicted by the dehibilitating virus, which was previously thought to have been eradicated from the planet. The names of these citizens: Randall Moss, a resident of West Virginia; Deion Branch, a resident of Massachusetts; Brandon Lloyd, a resident of Illinois.
it took me until AFTER the first sentence about leon and slater to realize something is up