PatsFanInVa

"Leaving on a Jet Plane." Hear me out. You hear this song from time to time, still, for one reason or another. For me it was watching "Armageddon" where Ben Affleck sings it to Liv Tyler. And of course you hear it but don't register it in elevators and supermarkets. La la la pretty little love song right?

WRONG. Whoever wrote this song had some chutzpah. Let's explore.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
..."your" door establishes she doesn't live with the guy but as we'll soon see, wants to change that...
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
We've established she spent the night, is supposed to go to the airport, and is waking the guy up for this speech, even though he's not driving her there...
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waiting, he's blowin' his horn
... per the above. He really doesn't want to drive out to the airport, but of course, he does want to be woken up for a parting declaration of love/expectation of fidelity/confessional speech about cheating when there's no time to rip her a new one...
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry.
We'll see soon that she should probably get used to this state of affairs

Chorus:
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
this sounds great as part of, say, a reciprocal arrangement... but as we'll see no such arrangement pertains...
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
(oh, baby, don't let me go!)
I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Really? So this is an indefinite kind of thing, just sort of checking out the wonder of America in the 60s without the supposed love of yer life? Seriously?
Oh, babe, I hate to go.
This would imply you'll be happy to come back. So happy, in fact, that you might arrange a specific date of return. That is, of course, if you actually do hate to go, and you're not planning one of a long series of non-Amish Rumspringas you'll count as the high point of your existence...

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
Um now hold on, I'm supposed to wait for you now? Now sh1t gets real, right? "Oh no, what if somebody else acts like I do?"
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring.
And I offered you said wedding ring when again? Oh yeah and I like the "when I come back" caveat. As if a wedding ring is going to make a lot of difference in this individual's behavior...

(Chorus)

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Then close your eyes, and I'll be on my way.
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say,
-----------------------------------

Okay no more miniature italic gloss text. Let's recap:

1. She came over your house before leaving town and spent the night. You're not bothering to drive her to the airport... she gets a cab. Sure some folks don't have cars, etc. etc. etc., but this sure looks like he thought "booty call/friends with benefits," and she's thinking "with the right morning speech I can jiu jitsu sentimentality over a road trip into a lifelong commitment."

2. She needs to stop telling you to kiss her and smile for her. You'll kiss her if you feel affectionate, and you'll smile for her if you feel happy. Damn.

3. So you're thinking "can't trust her, good lay though, gets clingy and psycho but it might be fun if she wants a roll in the proverbial hay on the way out of town."

4. She lets loose with a discussion of past infidelities, and explains that after this one more tour most likely chock full of infidelity (which she'll be thinking about you during, she swears,) she'll wear your wedding ring, as if you offered. Well didn't you just get the freaking golden ticket in your Wonka bar.

In short, were this sweet, innocent, lovey-dovey-sounding song sung to me by some weepy trollop in a peasant blouse, I do believe I'd fart and roll over.

Actually that response might not be unique to this situation, but in this situation I would do so intentionally.

Somebody needs to slap a label on songs like this so impressionable youth don't think of them as an acceptable way to behave.

Right, rant over.


Oh and sorry about the redundant use of "in history in history" in the title... hey mod can you edit one out for me?

Mrs.PatsFanInVa

Awwww - you're only ticked off because the song was song by a woman and you don't like women who act all cheat-y and stuff.

That's ok - the song was written by John Denver - which I'm sure makes it all better.

PatsFanInVa

Well yeah I'm ticked off at women who act all cheat-y. But hey, that's what honor killings are for. Crap did I type that or just think it?

In any event, yes, you turn out to be right, damn you and your google machine. Gender aside, however, we cannot ignore the fact that John Denver did, in fact, leave on a jet plane. Forever.

This puts his demise solidly in the category of fitting ironic punishment.