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Old 11-30-2006, 08:12 PM   #1
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Default Tings to do when bored shoping with wife

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code
3' in housewares.. and watched what happened.

5. Aug. 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and
asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct. 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
picked his nose.

10. Nov. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk
if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme .

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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Old 12-01-2006, 05:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: Tings to do when bored shoping with wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatsWickedPissah View Post
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code
3' in housewares.. and watched what happened.

5. Aug. 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and
asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct. 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
picked his nose.

10. Nov. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk
if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme .

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Number 6, that was you? I walked around and felt that carpet for an hour.

Number 11, done that many times in my life. Also, try imitating Bluto from 'Animal House' when they break into Dean Wormer's office with the white horse. Bluto (Belushi) hops around and then up the stairs.....people at the mall love it.
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Old 12-01-2006, 06:27 AM   #3
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Default Re: Tings to do when bored shoping with wife

That's one determined wife you've got there, PWP. I can't think of a single woman I've ever met who'd have held out past #9.
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:50 AM   #4
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Default Re: Tings to do when bored shoping with wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatsWickedPissah View Post
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code
3' in housewares.. and watched what happened.

5. Aug. 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and
asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct. 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
picked his nose.

10. Nov. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk
if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme .

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
I think i'v pretty much done every single one of those at wallmart, in some way or another.
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Old 12-01-2006, 02:21 PM   #5
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Default Re: Tings to do when bored shoping with wife

Ya know, I was miserably wed to an obsessive compulsive shopper for many years. Gladly, those days have ended and I now find myself with someone much more "balanced". About the only things I did was start all the animatronics in the seasonal departments, make all the alarm clocks go off at once, insisted on trying on womens underthings in the ladies fitting room, and to pick things up, kinda hide them near my body and put them down elsewhere. The rest of the day I would play keep away from store security. Yours are so much more creative! My hats of and my sympathies!
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