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The Mrs. saw this joke on the internets this morning, so I thought I'd share:
There's a union member, a tea partier, and a CEO sitting at a table. In the middle of the table there's a plate with 12 cookies.
The CEO reaches across and takes 11 of 'em. Then he says to the tea partier,
"Look out for that union guy. He wants a piece of your cookie."
Get your one star ready!
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CEO says "Now, if we want to make more cookies, we should examine all dozen and try to copy then recipe the we can start manufacturing."
Tea Party member says "That sounds great, I wholly support getting a private enterprise off the ground!"
Union member says "Well, you're going to need good strong American labor for that. How about we take half those cookies and we'll make them for you for half the profits."
CEO: "Sounds reasonable... here you go"
Tea Partier: "American labor, contributing to the local community, awesome!"
Union member: "And, in order to boost employee health and welfare, we'll need some strong insurance plans with no employee contribution to make sure the outfit runs seamlessly. Three more cookies should do it."
CEO: "Well... we do want to make this a going concern."
Tea Partier: "Sounds like a great idea... I pay 50% towards my healthcare but heck if we can make it work why not!"
Union member: "Finally, to be a respected member of the community for years to come, we should have solid pension plans to show that you're showing your corporate responsibiility for society. After all, we wouldn't want any protests causing disruptions on the line right?"
The CEO surrenders the last three cookies and looks at the empty spot on his table. "Now how am I supposed to get paid?"
Union member looks to the Tea Partier and says "You owe that guy three cookies."
That made me chuckle....the sad thing is that's just about what happens in real life except that if the union's sponsored candidate gets voted in then they often payback the unions by indeed taking a peace of the Tea Partier's cookie instead of getting it from the CEO
CEO: "Hey Tea Partier, in order for me to create more jobs, I need to ship the cookie making operation overseas, you down?"
TP: "Sounds good"
Union: "Hey wait a sec"
CEO: "Shhh... we just removed your ability to organize, you have no more say in this"
Union: "Wait huh?"
TP: "No more Unions! Now we can be more competitive!"
CEO: "Ok, we just shipped all the cookie making jobs over seas and we increased our profits by 300% over the past ten years!"
TP: "Great, now re-invest in the US and create jobs, we haven't had any real solid jobs here in awhile"
CEO: "Well... if we did that, we would hurt our bottom line, and we wouldn't be able to compete, and then we wouldn't be able to create any more jobs"
TP: "Well... isn't that what you... ok, I see, we just need to wait a bit more"
----
CEO: "Another record year!"
TP: "OKAY! SO now, lets open up a factory here and lets get these jobs rolling...!!!"
CEO: "Due to restrictions on government and the tax strucuture here, we just can't do it. I need you to demand lower taxes from government for the rich! that way we can create more jobs!"
A taxpayer, CEO, and union member are sitting at a table. A waitress comes over and brings a plate with a dozen cookies in it. The CEO and union member grab all the cookies before the plate hits the table, and take off the moment they've snagged all 12. Leaving the tax payer with an empty plate full of crumbs, and an unpaid bill.
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"The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him." Leo Tolstoy, 1897
A taxpayer, CEO, and union member are sitting at a table. A waitress comes over and brings a plate with a dozen cookies in it. The CEO and union member grab all the cookies before the plate hits the table, and take off the moment they've snagged all 12. Leaving the tax payer with an empty plate full of crumbs, and an unpaid bill.
Best one by FAR! How we often forget that it's the taxpayer that matters most in all these issues...no one else.
__________________ "No one walking this earth knows what is truly righteous"
What, there is no farmers daughters, bar rooms, monkeys, horses, or short people who play the piano?
I am crushed.
OH and edit: This joke doesn't work at all without the gubmint taking 5 of the cookies before they hit the table. They keep 4 and "redistribute the wealth" of the last one.
Last edited by shirtsleeve; 02-28-2011 at 09:59 PM..
Yah, I'm sticking with the original one. It gets wayyyyyy too tortured otherwise. Oh, plus, it's true in the original, and just salves your misguided political consciences in the "other" versions
Union member, Tea Partier, CEO at a table.
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