A couple of months ago I went and set up "prepaid cremation" for myself and my wife then ashes in the Ocean, tonight after supper I think I'll tell her that if she goes before me I'm going to have her disolved..
I hate wakes and funerals, there is nothing more disgusting than standing around whispering and gawking at a dead body all dressed up laying in a box.
When People Kneel They Don't Really Pray, They Speak To The Cadaver:
These Are Some Of The Things Mourners Say To A Dead Body At A Wake After They Peek Down To See If The Undertaker Stole The Body's Pants Or Shoes.
“Oh dear God, say it isn’t so”
“What the hell did you do with your keys”?
“Oh Mary Mother Of Jesus, you look just like your sleeping”
“They should have closed your coffin, you look like *****”
“Why didn’t the bastards put your glasses on you”
“That’s not how you combed your hair”
“Oh God, we’re all going to miss you so much”
“Nobody will miss you, you rotten son of a b!tch”
“I’m so sorry darling, forgive me, I thought you were having an affair”
“I hope your wife doesn’t find out you were sleeping with me”
“We found your Blow Up Rubber Women”
“So long idiot”
“Thanks, you dirty son of a b!tch”
“I’m moving in with your wife next month, we’re going to Yellowstone in the new Motor Home you just bought, I hope your shirts will fit me”
“Go to hell”
"Rot In Hell"
“Mom told me you weren’t my real father, did you know that”?
“Shove your money up your ass”
“You hit the lottery this morning, the guy that’s been running around with your wife found the ticket under your bed when he was putting his shoes on”
"Ha Ha Ha I knew you'd die before me you idiot bastard"