For three years now it I have been troubled by not being able to unravel the policy decision which lead to the Disaster in Iraq. Recently I have come to an Epiphany and believe I have decoded the mystery which I am willing to share with all.
It is the policy of this administration to follow a clearly defined quick and easy phased strategy of five or greater steps leading to the definition of the purpose of the policy.
Phase 1: Create an âAlliance of Evilâ
I read both The Art of War
and The Prince
from cover to cover, but I must admit that I missed the parts about it being better to force a common cause among a group of disparate potential enemies rather than to face a single unfriendly force.
Phase 2: Form an Alliance of the Hesitant.
(Which has since morphed into the Alliance of the Departing.) Our lily livered friends seem unwilling to get caught in the crossfire. In fact, they seem to be stepping further away from us whenever we approach.
While in retrospect it may have been better to apply the concept of "Divide and Conquer" to the principals of phase 1, the implementation got held up by a bureaucratic hang-up in the Whit House. Consequently its application was delayed by one Phase. Nevertheless when properly applied it is a useful notion and is better applied late then never. So it was applied to the principals of Phase 2.
Phase 3: Attack the Enemy where he isn't.
Once you have become engaged by a real enemy it is the policy of this administration to attack an enemy created by Phase 1, weather or not the enemy being engaged is a principal of phase 1. Otherwise there would not be a reason for phase 1, and this is impossible by definition, since this is the whole purpose behind Phase 3.
This has the advantage of potentially adding additional principals to those of Phase 1. This has so many benefits since it creates so many more opportunity for a kill. Keep in mind that it's not who is the enemy that matters, but only how many of them you can kill.
This is the military strategy conventionally termed âcharging into the quicksandâ. If you think you're confused by this strategy you can imagine how the enemy must feel.
Phase 4: Stay the Course.
This is the current status of the strategic plan and by far the most successful. The four previous phases have all boiled down to the current Phase.
One should note here that shoveling oneself out of a hole on solid ground is a different matter altogether from doing so in a quagmire. In such a case it is necessary to shovel much more rapidly to keep the sides from flowing in and filling the hole. Still, if one shovels rapidly enough one can get in even deeper; and it the prime directive of this administration that the depth of the hole your in is the best metric of success.
Phase 5: The Ultimate Utterance of the Ineffable Truth.
This phase is TBD
. Once the prior state is complete there may or may not be sufficient Knowledge or Profit to complete the policy definition. If not, move on to the next Phase.
Additional Phases as required:
Repeat the last Phase.
He said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right
You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done
Kenny Rogers, with apologies