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(2006-05-08) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s private letter to U.S. President George Bush proposing ‘new solutions‘ was also inadvertently emailed to Mr. Ahmadinejad’s ‘buddy list’, and so reached several major American news organizations yesterday.
Below is a translation of the letter:
To: George Bush president of the Great Satan, puppet of Zionists
Fr: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of peaceful Islamic Republic of Iran
Re: Recent tensions
Sorry it’s been so long. It hardly seems like 26 years since we held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. Well, enough nostalgia.
Listen, I have some new ideas for how to end the tensions over our little nuclear energy project, and your crusade to let the Zionists take over the Muslim world.
I had a brainstorming session with the Guardian Council, and we came up with a lot of great solutions. But I know you’re busy putting down a Republican rebellion and trying to pull your approval rating out of the toilet (LOL), so I’ll just give you our top five ‘new solutions’.
5) Wipe Israel off the face of the map. Replace with goat ranch.
4) U.S. buys Iranian oil. I make threatening statements causing uncertainty in petroleum markets. We use the windfall profits to pay Russia to help us make nuclear devices, and to pay China to stop U.N. sanctions. U.S. continues to buy Iranian oil.
3) Get U.N. to adopt ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy regarding uranium enrichment.
2) Put Zionists in boxcars. Send back to Europe. Replace Israel with goat ranch.
1) U.S. joins global Muslim Caliphate, ensuring peace and bountiful supplies of enriched uranium for all of Allah’s people.
Feel free to choose more than one solution.
I know you have a lot on your plate — what with the threat of Nancy Pelosi becoming Speaker of the House — but try to get back to me quickly so we can get implementation on a fast track.
Yours in Peace,
Mahmoud
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(2006-05-08) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s private letter to U.S. President George Bush proposing ‘new solutions‘ was also inadvertently emailed to Mr. Ahmadinejad’s ‘buddy list’, and so reached several major American news organizations yesterday.
Below is a translation of the letter:
To: George Bush president of the Great Satan, puppet of Zionists
Fr: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of peaceful Islamic Republic of Iran
Re: Recent tensions
Sorry it’s been so long. It hardly seems like 26 years since we held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. Well, enough nostalgia.
Listen, I have some new ideas for how to end the tensions over our little nuclear energy project, and your crusade to let the Zionists take over the Muslim world.
I had a brainstorming session with the Guardian Council, and we came up with a lot of great solutions. But I know you’re busy putting down a Republican rebellion and trying to pull your approval rating out of the toilet (LOL), so I’ll just give you our top five ‘new solutions’.
5) Wipe Israel off the face of the map. Replace with goat ranch.
4) U.S. buys Iranian oil. I make threatening statements causing uncertainty in petroleum markets. We use the windfall profits to pay Russia to help us make nuclear devices, and to pay China to stop U.N. sanctions. U.S. continues to buy Iranian oil.
3) Get U.N. to adopt ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy regarding uranium enrichment.
2) Put Zionists in boxcars. Send back to Europe. Replace Israel with goat ranch.
1) U.S. joins global Muslim Caliphate, ensuring peace and bountiful supplies of enriched uranium for all of Allah’s people.
Feel free to choose more than one solution.
I know you have a lot on your plate — what with the threat of Nancy Pelosi becoming Speaker of the House — but try to get back to me quickly so we can get implementation on a fast track.
Yours in Peace,
Mahmoud
Right now I favor the combined carrot and stick. Incentives to cooperate and penalties (sanctions) if not. ENFORCED.
Enforced by whom and under what authority? We could definitely restrict our trade with them but we would both be hurt and for what purpose? I'm not clear on what basis we have a conflict. The NPT was signed years ago, but it's a treaty. India, Pakistan, probably S. Africa and Israel, and who knows who else have the bomb since then. Why haven't we gone after them? Is it our relationship with Israel that this all hinges on or are you responding from the rhetoric of the white house regarding some perceived threat?
Enforced by whom and under what authority? We could definitely restrict our trade with them but we would both be hurt and for what purpose? I'm not clear on what basis we have a conflict. The NPT was signed years ago, but it's a treaty. India, Pakistan, probably S. Africa and Israel, and who knows who else have the bomb since then. Why haven't we gone after them? Is it our relationship with Israel that this all hinges on or are you responding from the rhetoric of the white house regarding some perceived threat?
Enforced by us. Haven't you ever wondered why Iraq was such a strategic goal? Now, instead of just having bases in Afghanistan on their Eastern Border, we have bases on their western border.
The whole war in Iraq was really just a ploy for the real target to the East. They are surrounded, and they know we are coming.
This war is imminent and will most certainly happen before Dubya leaves office.
(2006-05-08) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s private letter to U.S. President George Bush proposing ‘new solutions‘ was also inadvertently emailed to Mr. Ahmadinejad’s ‘buddy list’, and so reached several major American news organizations yesterday.
To: George Bush president of the Great Satan, puppet of Zionists
Fr: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of peaceful Islamic Republic of Iran
Re: Recent tensions
Sorry it’s been so long. It hardly seems like 26 years since we held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. Well, enough nostalgia.
Listen, I have some new ideas for how to end the tensions over our little nuclear energy project, and your crusade to let the Zionists take over the Muslim world.
I had a brainstorming session with the Guardian Council, and we came up with a lot of great solutions. But I know you’re busy putting down a Republican rebellion and trying to pull your approval rating out of the toilet (LOL), so I’ll just give you our top five ‘new solutions’.
5) Wipe Israel off the face of the map. Replace with goat ranch.
4) U.S. buys Iranian oil. I make threatening statements causing uncertainty in petroleum markets. We use the windfall profits to pay Russia to help us make nuclear devices, and to pay China to stop U.N. sanctions. U.S. continues to buy Iranian oil.
3) Get U.N. to adopt ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy regarding uranium enrichment.
2) Put Zionists in boxcars. Send back to Europe. Replace Israel with goat ranch.
1) U.S. joins global Muslim Caliphate, ensuring peace and bountiful supplies of enriched uranium for all of Allah’s people.
Feel free to choose more than one solution.
I know you have a lot on your plate — what with the threat of Nancy Pelosi becoming Speaker of the House — but try to get back to me quickly so we can get implementation on a fast track.
Yours in Peace,
Mahmoud
That was funny! It seems to reflect the tone of some of the things that the guy actually said, according to leaks. There is no doubt that he is bad news, but there is some sense that he is playing the "big 'un" for domestic consumption. I would agree with you about carrot and stick, PWP.
I think the crucial thing is that we learn from the Iraq situation, not rely on crap intelligence from people with an agenda. We must also persuade the rest of the world that we aren't doing the Anglo Saxon "my way or the highway" thing, that we want everyone on board and that we aren't going to attack anyone for dubious reasons. Regardless of the rights and wrongs of Iraq (and you might be surprised at how hawkish I was at the time), we badly need to build bridges again as a set of people.
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Enforced by us. Haven't you ever wondered why Iraq was such a strategic goal? Now, instead of just having bases in Afghanistan on their Eastern Border, we have bases on their western border.
The whole war in Iraq was really just a ploy for the real target to the East. They are surrounded, and they know we are coming.
This war is imminent and will most certainly happen before Dubya leaves office.
Bank on it.
No way!
Even this guy isn't stupid enough to...
Never mind
Iran President's Letter to Bush
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