ARE YOU NEW HERE? NOT LOGGED IN? PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO REGISTER FOR AN ACCOUNT AND LOGIN TO REMOVE THIS WINDOW
Welcome to PatsFans.com. Do you have an account? If not - please take a moment to register for our forum and experience a much smoother experience with fewer ads, along with no longer having to see this notification window. Also learn about how you can receive a free Patriots T-Shirt from the Patriots Official ProShop by CLICKING HERE. Please enjoy your stay here, and Go Pats!
ROCKLAND, ME—In an attempt to convince an anxious populace that his legislative agenda is working and that everything is going to be all right, President Barack Obama embarked on a 50-state, 30,000-town tour Monday during which he plans to gaze assuredly into the eyes of each American citizen, one at a time.
"I know a lot of people out there are nervous. They're worried about unemployment, the oil spill in the Gulf, and whether or not I am making the right choices in Washington," Obama said during a rally at Rockland District High School. "To those Americans, I offer you this inspiring, confident gaze."
DONATE TO PATSFANS.COM
RECEIVE A FREE PATS T-SHIRT AND SAVE 15% OFF WHEN YOU BUY FROM THE OFFICIAL PROSHOP!
Free T-Shirt & Save 15% Off!
Like Our Site? Please help support our site and server costs by DONATING TO PATSFANS.COM and receive a FREE PATRIOTS T-SHIRT and SAVE 15% off EVERY purchase you make from PatriotsProShop.com. You'll also receive added benefits to your account including Removing All Ads During Your Experience Here At Our Forum.
NEEDED YEARLY SITE DONATIONS: 345 | CURRENT # OF SUBSCRIBED SUPPORTERS: 98
"I was waiting for the T when I felt a tap on my shoulder," Boston resident Jarrod Tomlinson, 36, said. "I turned around and it was the president of the United States. Before I could tell him that as a small business owner, I was a little worried that the new health care bill wouldn't offer me the subsidies necessary to provide my employees with coverage, he just grabbed both of my arms, looked into my eyes for maybe five seconds, massaged my shoulder briefly, and walked away."
"And you know what?" Tomlinson continued. "I think everything's going to be okay."
As I was sitting quietly by my campfire I suddenly felt an overwhelming thrill in my spleen as though an unseen godly presence was caressing my whole being, I slowly turned to my right and there he was, my legs were uncontrollably slamming up and down on the ground, I became sexually aroused, saliva ran down the side of my chin onto my neck and adams apple area, I had two rapid bowel movements, good Jesus God it was him, America’s First Messiah, his beautiful Teeth glistened in the firelight, I could see the outlines of his extraordinary Ears they looked like little “frying pans” as he stood between his two glorious teleprompters I couldn’t help but notice his gorgeous feet, the toes bent inwards “dink toe” he stood in shirtsleeves which made it appear that was about to perform some really serious *****, I was crying, I pis$ed my pants again, my wife heard me moaning she yelled out of the window “you moron what the hell are you doing out there” I screamed back “shut the window and mind your own f-cking business” it was then that this great man spoke, he said “sit down Harry and gaze into my eyes for I am the savior, I am The Man, one only has to look at my handsome face, my feet and my Mickey Mouse Ears to know that salvation is at hand, those who gaze into my eyes shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever, my father had 312 illegitimate children, my aunt was an illegal alien, I have a brother who lives in a Grass Hut, my brother George smokes dope with an Ivory Bong, I also have a brother Samson who is a well known Child Molester, all these family attributes played a great roll in my being raised to sainthood in the United States Of America, holy ***** Harry, look into my eyes, oh God somebody stop me, now I know everything will be fine for he has given me hope, he is The Great One, Messiah Baracko Hussein Obuma.
Oh it's crying time again your gonna leave me
I can see that far away look in your eyes
I can tell by the way you hold me darling
That it won't be long before its crying time
Harry Boy (Genius)
In The Absence Of Law And Order Society Will Surely Destroy Itself