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Old 02-14-2006, 01:10 PM   #1
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Default If Kerry Had Won

Source:
A Blog

~KERRY WINS~
John Kerry Is The New President Of The United States:

"WHEEL CHAIRS FOR SALE, CHEAP"

"THE WAR IS OVER, SADDAM SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO BECOME A BAPTIST MINISTER"

"BIN LADEN SURRENDERS, THE KERRY PEOPLE SEND HIM TO THE "BETTY FORD FOUNDATION" TO BE REHABILITATED"

UNCLE TEDDY SAYS HE IS "GOING ON THE WAGON"

ALL DEATH ROW INMATES SET FREE, JESSE JACKOFF SAYS THEY ARE ALL INNOCENT, HE SAYS WHITE LAWYERS FRAMED THEM.

ALL McDONALDS HAMBURG WORKERS GIVEN $30 AN HOUR RAISES.

ALL LARGE COOPERATIONS WILL BE SHUT DOWN, ALL CEO's WILL BE SHOT.

ALL WEAPONS WILL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM THE MILITARY.

AMPUTEES AND RETARDED PEOPLE WILL BE GIVEN FIRST PREFERANCE WHEN TAKING POLICE AND FIRE EXAMS.

EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE SURFBOARD.

EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE BOTTLE OF KETCHUP.

TERRORISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS AND SAY "WERE SORRY"

ARIEL SHARON AND YASSAR ARRAFAT WILL HAVE ANAL INTERCOURSE PRIMETIME ON CBS, DAN RATHER WILL MASTURBATE WHILE WATCHING THIS HISTORIC EVENT, JESSE JACKOFF WILL ALSO BE PRESENT AND WILL BE SCREAMING OVER AND OVER, "PRAISE JESUS" "THANK YOU LORD" PRAISE GOD".

AFTER THE SEXUAL CLIMAX, YASSAR, ARIEL, JESSE AND DAN WILL ALL JOIN HANDS AND SING "WE SHALL OVERCOME".

THEN, IN HOSPITALS ALL OVER THE PLANET PEOPLE WILL BE RISING FROM THEIR WHEEL CHAIRS, SOBBING AND YELLING, "DEAR HOLY GOD IT'S A MIRACLE, I CAN WALK, OH *****, THANK YOU SAVIOUR KERRY, BLESS YOU.

YES THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED, THE HATED BUSH WILL BE GONE, HIS PICTURE WILL BE REMOVED FROM EVERY BUILDING IN AMERICA, THE MAN WAS EVIL, HE HAD A DUI THIRTY YEARS AGO AND DEAR JESUS WORST OF ALL, HE WENT AWOL.

THE NEW PRESIDENT SITS IN THE OVAL OFFICE MUTTERING TO HIMSELF, "I HAVE A PLAN, I HAVE A PLAN"
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Old 02-14-2006, 03:00 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Boy
Source:
A Blog

~KERRY WINS~
John Kerry Is The New President Of The United States:

"WHEEL CHAIRS FOR SALE, CHEAP"

"THE WAR IS OVER, SADDAM SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO BECOME A BAPTIST MINISTER"

"BIN LADEN SURRENDERS, THE KERRY PEOPLE SEND HIM TO THE "BETTY FORD FOUNDATION" TO BE REHABILITATED"

UNCLE TEDDY SAYS HE IS "GOING ON THE WAGON"

ALL DEATH ROW INMATES SET FREE, JESSE JACKOFF SAYS THEY ARE ALL INNOCENT, HE SAYS WHITE LAWYERS FRAMED THEM.

ALL McDONALDS HAMBURG WORKERS GIVEN $30 AN HOUR RAISES.

ALL LARGE COOPERATIONS WILL BE SHUT DOWN, ALL CEO's WILL BE SHOT.

ALL WEAPONS WILL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM THE MILITARY.

AMPUTEES AND RETARDED PEOPLE WILL BE GIVEN FIRST PREFERANCE WHEN TAKING POLICE AND FIRE EXAMS.

EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE SURFBOARD.

EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE BOTTLE OF KETCHUP.

TERRORISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS AND SAY "WERE SORRY"

ARIEL SHARON AND YASSAR ARRAFAT WILL HAVE ANAL INTERCOURSE PRIMETIME ON CBS, DAN RATHER WILL MASTURBATE WHILE WATCHING THIS HISTORIC EVENT, JESSE JACKOFF WILL ALSO BE PRESENT AND WILL BE SCREAMING OVER AND OVER, "PRAISE JESUS" "THANK YOU LORD" PRAISE GOD".

AFTER THE SEXUAL CLIMAX, YASSAR, ARIEL, JESSE AND DAN WILL ALL JOIN HANDS AND SING "WE SHALL OVERCOME".

THEN, IN HOSPITALS ALL OVER THE PLANET PEOPLE WILL BE RISING FROM THEIR WHEEL CHAIRS, SOBBING AND YELLING, "DEAR HOLY GOD IT'S A MIRACLE, I CAN WALK, OH *****, THANK YOU SAVIOUR KERRY, BLESS YOU.

YES THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED, THE HATED BUSH WILL BE GONE, HIS PICTURE WILL BE REMOVED FROM EVERY BUILDING IN AMERICA, THE MAN WAS EVIL, HE HAD A DUI THIRTY YEARS AGO AND DEAR JESUS WORST OF ALL, HE WENT AWOL.

THE NEW PRESIDENT SITS IN THE OVAL OFFICE MUTTERING TO HIMSELF, "I HAVE A PLAN, I HAVE A PLAN"


Sshhhhhhhhh,
I can almost hear Charles Darwin rolling over in his grave.
He has been proven wrong, again
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Old 02-14-2006, 03:10 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Boy
Source:
A Blog

~KERRY WINS~
John Kerry Is The New President Of The United States:

"WHEEL CHAIRS FOR SALE, CHEAP"

"THE WAR IS OVER, SADDAM SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO BECOME A BAPTIST MINISTER"

"BIN LADEN SURRENDERS, THE KERRY PEOPLE SEND HIM TO THE "BETTY FORD FOUNDATION" TO BE REHABILITATED"

UNCLE TEDDY SAYS HE IS "GOING ON THE WAGON"

ALL DEATH ROW INMATES SET FREE, JESSE JACKOFF SAYS THEY ARE ALL INNOCENT, HE SAYS WHITE LAWYERS FRAMED THEM.

ALL McDONALDS HAMBURG WORKERS GIVEN $30 AN HOUR RAISES.

ALL LARGE COOPERATIONS WILL BE SHUT DOWN, ALL CEO's WILL BE SHOT.

ALL WEAPONS WILL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM THE MILITARY.

AMPUTEES AND RETARDED PEOPLE WILL BE GIVEN FIRST PREFERANCE WHEN TAKING POLICE AND FIRE EXAMS.

EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE SURFBOARD.

EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE BOTTLE OF KETCHUP.

TERRORISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS AND SAY "WERE SORRY"

ARIEL SHARON AND YASSAR ARRAFAT WILL HAVE ANAL INTERCOURSE PRIMETIME ON CBS, DAN RATHER WILL MASTURBATE WHILE WATCHING THIS HISTORIC EVENT, JESSE JACKOFF WILL ALSO BE PRESENT AND WILL BE SCREAMING OVER AND OVER, "PRAISE JESUS" "THANK YOU LORD" PRAISE GOD".

AFTER THE SEXUAL CLIMAX, YASSAR, ARIEL, JESSE AND DAN WILL ALL JOIN HANDS AND SING "WE SHALL OVERCOME".

THEN, IN HOSPITALS ALL OVER THE PLANET PEOPLE WILL BE RISING FROM THEIR WHEEL CHAIRS, SOBBING AND YELLING, "DEAR HOLY GOD IT'S A MIRACLE, I CAN WALK, OH *****, THANK YOU SAVIOUR KERRY, BLESS YOU.

YES THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED, THE HATED BUSH WILL BE GONE, HIS PICTURE WILL BE REMOVED FROM EVERY BUILDING IN AMERICA, THE MAN WAS EVIL, HE HAD A DUI THIRTY YEARS AGO AND DEAR JESUS WORST OF ALL, HE WENT AWOL.

THE NEW PRESIDENT SITS IN THE OVAL OFFICE MUTTERING TO HIMSELF, "I HAVE A PLAN, I HAVE A PLAN"
thats a classic .
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Old 02-14-2006, 03:20 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEM
2500 Americans are NOT DEAD, and their children have fathers, and mothers. and parents still have their child.

16,000 Americans are not injured with many of them maimed for life....

50,000 or more innocent Iraqis are not dead

Iraq is NOT aligned with Iran and Syria to create the world's biggest American Hating group.

Gasoline does not cost $2.,50 and up , a gallon.

America has respect worldwide

Osama Bin Laden is captured.

Women's rights to choose would be protected

The deficit would not exist

And we would not be the victim of another major terrorist attack like the one that is sure to come as long as Bush is president.
I take issue with the Iraq thing. Kerry, as I understand it, had every intention of carrying on with the occupation.
The deficit would probably be smaller by now, though.
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:08 PM   #5
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And he would have caught Osama too? I wish he'd tell us where he is since only he knows.


What else would Komrade Kerry have done NEM?

-Cured Cancer

-Freed Ted Williams frozen head

-Found Natalie Holloway

-Singlehandedly disarmed Iran and North Korea's nuclear program

-Brought the price of gas down to -1.45, thats right, you'd GET BACK a dollar forty five for every gallon.

-Given Hollywood fresh ideas for their movie mills

-Found Amelia Earhardt

-Found Waldo

-Gotten the US to Venus, Neptune AND Jupiter

-Found the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot and the Yeti.
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:28 PM   #6
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I don't think anyone, right or left, other than Bush II would have gone into Iraq in the first place. But, now that we're there, it's obvious that Kerry would have worked to build an international coalition to share the burden and perhaps ameliorate at least part of the Iraqi insurgency. Bush's approach has been to alienate just about everyone. It's pathetic that we have virtually no one helping us foot the bill for Iraq. Even Bush's father did a much better job in his economic management of war. That the righties still defend Bush's handling of the war is disingenuous at best. Even if you agree with the war, you should have some doubts about the expenses, the lack of international aid, and our inability to win wider Iraqi support.
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:32 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gomezcat
I take issue with the Iraq thing. Kerry, as I understand it, had every intention of carrying on with the occupation.
The deficit would probably be smaller by now, though.
OK, I admit it... I agree with you!
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:36 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turd Furguson
And he would have caught Osama too? I wish he'd tell us where he is since only he knows.


What else would Komrade Kerry have done NEM?

-Cured Cancer

-Freed Ted Williams frozen head

-Found Natalie Holloway

-Singlehandedly disarmed Iran and North Korea's nuclear program

-Brought the price of gas down to -1.45, thats right, you'd GET BACK a dollar forty five for every gallon.

-Given Hollywood fresh ideas for their movie mills

-Found Amelia Earhardt

-Found Waldo

-Gotten the US to Venus, Neptune AND Jupiter

-Found the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot and the Yeti.
...And thats during his first year in office!
During his second year Kerry will:

Discover Atlantis

Ressurect Jon bennet Ramsey

Build a stairway to heaven

"Old Faithfull" will spew Crown royal

Chocolate will help you lose weight

Cigarettes will cost 50 cents a pack

Cars will run on water
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:37 PM   #9
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The last Dem administration took this country from the largest deficit in our history to the largest surplus in our history. Considering the fact that we're right back at a brand spanking new largest deficit in American history, I'd say we could use a little Democrat-style fiscal responsibility right about now. Besides, I'm all out of Ketchup.
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:42 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sdaniels7114
The last Dem administration took this country from the largest deficit in our history to the largest surplus in our history. Considering the fact that we're right back at a brand spanking new largest deficit in American history, I'd say we could use a little Democrat-style fiscal responsibility right about now. Besides, I'm all out of Ketchup.
Dont even get me started on that....
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