Patsfanin Philly

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers....
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1. If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, your money will go to China .
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.
Instead, you can keep the money in America by:
1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or Coca-Cola
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly American-owned businesses still operating in the US .
Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.
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For those missing the humor gene, the above was intended as humor and not intended to be taken seriously, at least the part about the yard sale......
....unknown author...

IcyPatriot

Economic stimulus payment ... very popular for over 70+ years ... otherwise known as welfare ... Uncle Teddy Roosevelt ... godfather of the welfare state.

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PatriotsReign

Personally, MY GREATEST HOPE is that every single American who receives a stimulus check puts that money straight into the bank or pays down their debt.

No one should spend a dime of it if you REALLY want to help us get out of recession. I'm DEAD serious...what I just wrote is a much, MUCH better idea than spending it.

Question....

How long can our gov't GIVE away money they do NOT have in a fruitless attempt to "help" our economy?

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"Dominating the World"....The fine print at the bottom of my avatar.

Real World

That was funny Philly.

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"A theory that explains everything, explains nothing"

patsfan13

Great post Philly gets right to the truth of the matter.

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If the devil can keep you from asking the right questions he never has to worry about the answers.

Mabeyitstrue

I love how you say "walfare" in a bad sence.

You do know YOU and OTHERS LIKE YOU have gotten welfare before right?

Ever gotten a tax break for having kids?
Ever got inheritance?
Ever gotten a grant?
Ever gotten a tax break for buying a house or car?
Ever gotten money from mom or dad?
Ever gotten a grant for College?

All are forms of welfare, you can rationalize it all you want but there all welfare and eveyone I know has used one of the above.

There is nothing wrong with getting help or needed help, if your too good for welfare the odds are you have used some short of welfare but are too stupid to realize it.

Learn about it, if people would not be so greedy, you would not need welfare in the first place......kinda like unions, if ppl would pay there workers decent and give them bennies we would not need them.
See some people in life are just not good people and you have to force they're hand for them too do the right thing, been going on for 1000 of years...

maverick4

Actually InBev bought Budweiser over the summer, so that is now a Brazilian/Belgian company. What is funny is right after they bought it, they started their ad campaign about being an American beer.