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I have a 60' flag pole that my Aunts husband put in the ground years ago, his brother was wounded in The Normandy Invasion WWII, 6 months later he died from those wounds, when I took this house over I found a Flag in one of my out buildings wrapped in a box with a label saying that the flag was used at his funeral, this flag looks like the ones they fly over Burger King or a Car Dealership, it's the biggest flag I have ever seen, I ran it up last week and it was beautiful, I got a chair and sat out in the yard just looking at it then I got so friggin excited I started drinking, after a few drinks I started thinking about singing some patriotic songs, I went in the house and got my Banjo then I stood in the middle of the yard and started singing “Dixie” I had my dog with me, we get a lot of joggers running by here with their tongues hanging out some of them are panting they look like they're constipated and their shorts are stuck up in the crack of their a$ses but that’s another story, I really started singing loud and my dog was howling this women jogger stopped and was looking in the yard smiling when a UPS truck hit her and broke her feet, the cops came, EMT's came, a fire engine came some people riding bikes stopped and were wandering around with their silly looking helmets on, it was one of these a$s holes that spotted my flag and yelled out "Jesus Christ look at that flag" then they all came in my yard, cops, firemen, bike riders, joggers and some Jehovah Witness’s stopped and started handing out their little magazines, we all shook hands some of the joggers said they would be back next summer, my dog bit one of them but he didn’t break the skin.
I was going back into the house after they all left and I saw one of those jerky looking helmets laying in the grass that those bicycle riders wear, no matter who you are when you put one of those on you look like you belong in a Mental Institution, I put it on then I took all my clothes off except for my sneakers, my wife was looking out the window watching all those people wandering around in the yard and it made her nervous she started crying, she called up one of my grand-daughters and told her I was out in the yard drunk with my dog playing the banjo and singing and that the yard was full of police officers, firefighters and a lot of skinny people in satin shorts and some with bicycles she said some of the people were wearing “funny looking helmets” she also said that there was a Flag on the flagpole that was the biggest flag she had ever seen in her life, my grand-daughter told my wife to “take a shower”.
After I removed my clothes I went up into the bathroom and just stood there with the “silly helmet” on and waited for my wife to finish her shower, she didn’t know I was there, I am 83 years old, you have to be in the Medical Profession to truly know what an 83 year old man with Red Hair looks like naked especially with a bicycle helmet on, I still have Red Hair in my pubic area if I position myself in just the right way while standing in the sunlight out in the yard I can flash beams of light onto the trees with my shiny red “testicle hair” when I had a Hernia repaired the Indian that shaved me said it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
My wife stepped out of the shower and screamed I told her everything was under control and that the Police and all the others had left I took her over to the window and we both looked at the Gigantic American Flag waving in the breeze it was then that I had a great Idea, the next day I took the flag down and spread it out on the ground, my wife went shopping, I called my neighbors wife up and said “come on over here and bring some hand cream with you” we had sex under the flag.
Harry Boy (Genius)
In The Absence Of Law And Order Society Will Surely Destroy Itself
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OK. Seeing that Labor Day and 9/11 are in the next few days, I wanted to pass this along to everyone. I just got back from my local LOWES and they are selling American Flags that are actually MADE in the USA.
So, if you are looking to buy one to honor the men and women of this country, that is one place to do so.
I bought my American flag in Germany - I live there..