PatsFanInVa

It's just post-draft, and I have found myself spontaneously generating these while Chungmania is still in full bloom - including in my own heart of hearts.

Rules: This is essentially the Chuck Norris routine, but you can't just change a Chuck Norris joke. The more specific to Chung/football/Pats the better (even if my own examples aren't exactly game-day material.)

Here are some to start with, from recent posts.... some of them worked better in paragraph form than as stand-alones:

Patrick Chung, pound for pound, is stronger than sarin gas.

Patrick Chung is stronger than a Rosie O'Donnell queef.

Patrick Chung has a neurotoxin in his saliva that he can selectively breathe at receivers to throw them off their routes... he just chooses not to because then you don't get to hit them.

Okay admittedly those don't rise to the full level of overdone awe we're looking for, so I've composed these "occasional Chungisms" to get us underway:

Patrick Chung doesn't bat the ball away, the ball flees voluntarily and sometimes can't brake in time.

Bob Sanders is a guided missile. Patrick Chung is an ICBM. (and the related, "Patrick Chung is where the Pentagon got the name "Patriot Missile." ")

When you're gameplanning the 09 Pats, there's actually four things that can happen on a pass play, and three of them are bad: interceptions, incompletes, and the worst one, Patrick Chung.

Patrick Chung's out for blood. When Patrick Chung's playing, the whole field is the red zone.

QBs playing against Chung have been clocked at 4.4 during safety blitzes. Patrick Chung still caught them.

Patrick Chung's what would happen if Ray Lewis played safety... and was meaner.

Patrick Chung can't really fly. The field just gets scared.

Patrick Chung = MC^2.

Patrick Chung hits are so massive they have smaller hits in orbit around them.

Detroit's studying Patrick Chung so they can develop a non-stop motor.

Patrick Chung's from Jamaica. Like other Jamaican exports, he makes you fall down and cough. Unlike other Jamaican exports, he makes you cough blood. Also, you don't laugh or feel better the next day.

Okay that's all I got for now. It's Sunday, it's May, it's raining, screw it. Have a sense of humor and play "Patrick Chungisms" with me. I'm very bored.

PFnV

stinkypete

Holy crap that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

RussFrancis

Patrick Chung is what we'd get if Tiger Woods played football.

ctpatsfan77

If a quarterback completes a pass to Patrick Chung's side of the field, it's because Chung, in his magnanimity, allows the receiver to catch it . . . so Chung can then tackle him.

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"Momentum was quickly snatched away by New England, who once again proved that any Patriot, at any moment, can make a play." —Inside the NFL, Packers v. Patriots

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patsfan-1982

wow thats funny i wonder are all NFL fans this crazy or is it just us pats fans
vary funny

BritPat

If you have five dollars, and Patrick Chung has five dollars, Patrick Chung has more money than you.

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JSn

Lining up across from Patrick Chung is like waking up in a saw trap. If you survive, you'll be scarred for life... but you probably won't survive.

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BritPat

Patrick Chung destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.

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JSn

The Patriots call Chung a safety. Everyone else call him Danger.

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Number 2

Those are all pretty funny!

When Chuck Norris leaves his house he looks over his shoulder for Patrick Chung.