With the preseason about to get underway competition is going to be high with players fighting not just for starting jobs, but for roster spots as well. Here is my official 2011 Projected New England Patriots starting line-up.
Offense
QB: The MVP
RB: The Law Firm
WR: Wes Welker, Twitter Champion and Prius Advocate, Former SB MVP ‘preciate that boss’ Deion Branch (if they go 3 Wide)
TE: The Jacoby Elsbury of the Patriots , Aaron ’I faked Kyle Wilson out of his jock in the Jets Game so bad he is still looking for it’ Hernandez (if they go with a 2 TE Set)
C: Quietest Giant on the Field Dan Koppen
RT: Kick His Ass Sea-Bass Volmar
LT: Thankful to be here for 1 more year, maybe two Matt Light
RG: Special Teams Giant Dan Connolly
LG: Meanest Lineman in Football and resident farmer Logan Mankins
Defense
DL: Best Nosetackle in football Vince Wilfork
DL: Let’s hope the headaches gone Mike Wright
DL: Make sure you pay with cash and not credit card Albert Haynesworth
ILB: Camera phones and aderrol are no good Brandon Spikes
ILB: Gang tackle king Jerod Mayo
OLB: Resident Pandora autograph session king Gary Guyton
OLB: I’ve seen people come back from heart surgery quicker than a calf injury Jermaine Cunningham
CB: The Lions trash is the Patriots treasure Leign Bodden
CB: Taking reservations for McCourty Island Devin McCourty
SS: Good jams, and that was a champion play James Sanders
FS: So many cliche’s but I will go with Tigger, Bruce Springfield, and act like lil kids Brandon Meriweather
The nicknames are pretty bad, bro. FYI, Spikes was the “autograph king.” Chung is the starting SS, and Sanders isn’t in the lineup. Gary Guyton will not be starting OLB in a 3-4. The Cunningham nickname is just plain neglectful and disrespectful.
I’m really just stunned.
relax pal will ya. Guyton did a tour of the Pandora stores in the area last year and signed autographs for 50 year old women buying charms. Chung may or may not start depending if Sanders is back from the PUP list in time. If they go 3-4, who is to say they don’t go 4-3 with Bill, you never know. And funny I’m getting a lecture on respect from a guy who answers every one of my columns with fail@fail.com priceless.
Some folks just can’t get the humor in things! LOL
Didn’t understand on the Guyton thing. But again, Sanders has already been practicing (off the PUP) and Chung has been in the starting line-up. He started in 13 of the 14 games played last year and he is an absolute lock for the starting line-up
I get humor, but you’re just not even being funny.
Even further, it would be “unofficial” projected starting line-up. Not official. If you say “PatsFan’s Official,” that would work.
Most of your columns are good work. This, in my opinion, just isn’t. It’s confusing, hard to read, and I apologize if I’ve offended you but personally, you’ve offended me with your heart surgery comments.
that I apologize for offending you. It wasn’t meant that way.
Patfan’s Official. Sure I can live with that as well.
ah its all good fun and good humour, nice job pal.
Pretty spot on, if Sanders is healthy it will be a tight position battle with him and Chung. Don’t let the negative posts effect you, your posts aren’t Associated Press type things which is why I enjoy reading them. Take the stick out yo asses people.
Gonkowski over Hernandez, layup
Pats Fanatic – there is no battle between Chung and Sanders. If Sanders is in the starting line-up, it will be replacing Meriweather.
“kick his ass, seabass.” hilarious!
vollmer totally looks like that guy from ‘dumb and dumber’ too. minus 150 lbs of pure destruction, of course.