Here in New England we have been blessed with an amazing ownership group. It seems the Kraft Family knows how to separate the business from the game, while improving the team’s bottom line along the way. Never shy in front of the camera, he handles his interviews and media sessions with class, integrity, and doesn’t seem to dodge many questions. The same can’t be said about the individuals below, and that is why none of them will win a Super Bowl as long as they are involved. As an owner, your players need to want to play for you, want to get deals done when contracts are up, want to attend events unrelated to their pay, and be involved with the team outside of just on Sunday afternoons. We’ll start from number five and work our way to the number one worst owner in the NFL. A Pretty interesting side note, the Patriots play all five of these teams this year. What is even more interesting is we play four out of five of them on the road.

#5 – Dan Snyder – Washington Redskins
Mark Rypien and Art Monk are not walking through that door. Albert Haynesworth is though for the tune of $100 million clams. Donovan McNabb walked through the door, but only to be benched for Wrecks Grossman. Yes, that Rex Grossman! I have never been a McNabb fan. The fact he pukes all over himself in the clutch (outside of the Fred-Ex Catch) just doesn’t make him a loveable player for me. Being out of shape in the Super Bowl and dry heaving in the huddle still makes me laugh to this day. Snyder’s signings have been brutal, puzzling, and brainless to say the least. Clinton Portis, Haynesworth, McNabb, D’Angelo Hall, and still haven’t went after a #1 wide receiver. Santana Moss is streaky and has hamstrings weaker than my Nonni’s pasta on Sundays. It was a very unfortunate loss when Sean Taylor was gunned down a few years back, so that should be a fuel to go out there and compete in the NFC. Also the fact their stadium houses more fans than anyone in football should be motivation to put a marquee team on the field and draft properly. Someone go find their draft picks over the last 10 years, I’d be interested in seeing it. I am too lazy for that right now.

#4 – Alex Spanos – San Diego Chargers
Any owner who allows Norv Turner to blow that many games single handedly and not make a move on it needs to have their head examined. This is also the same guy who had the most conservative coach, outside of Herm Edwards back in the day, running his team in Marty Schottenheimer. Marty’s bonehead, pompous kid is running the Jets offense now and I’m sure they will have his head this year if Sanchise leads the league in INT’s again. Spanos is a guy who couldn’t/can’t put the right staff in place when he had three or four future HOF’s walking through those doors each and every week. Rodney Harrison came to New England to get it done. LT, as much as I hate him is the best running back of his generation, and Antonio Gates will be a future HOF tight end most likely a first ballot. Jessie Spanos as I refer to him seem to let his best pieces go, stay on the bench due to contract issues, or bring the wrong pieces in. Yes he let one of the best defensive coordinators in the game go run off to Carolina to take the head coaching job. I mean does he despise his staff so much he will let them go run a team with Jimmy Clausen and Matt Moore as your QB options?

#3 – Pat Bowlen – Denver Broncos
It started with Elway, Shannon Sharpe, and Terrell Davis. Slowly those guys morphed into skeletons and the Broncos were left with Mike Shanahan, Jake the Snake Plummer, and Clinton Portis. They beat the Patriots in 2005 in the “Ben Watson Touchback Game”. For those of you who don’t remember that, Ben Watson tracked down future HOF cornerback Champ Bailey and knocked the ball through the end zone in a Steve Tasker/Leon Lett style play which should have been a touchback. After that game, the Broncos were never the same. Bowlen let Brandon Marshall go because he couldn’t keep his attitude in check. He fired Mike Shanahan, whom I thought was one of the best coaches of his generation until he benched McNabb for Sexy Rexy. They went and drafted Tim Tebow. I like Tim, he is a competitor, he loves the game, but that can only take you so far. Oh then they went and traded Jay “Sad Face” Cutler for Kyle Orton and a bucket of sand. Oh and let’s not forget Peyton “All Natural” Hillis. Now they bring John Elway in. I am not sure how good of a business man Elway is, nor does he strike me as the kind of guy who is going to mentor a young player. He already has quit on Tebow and is revealing his draft strategy a week before the draft. Mr.Bowlen, my advice to you, grab the bull by his nuts and start from the ground up. You are 10 years away from being a threat.

#2 – Jerry Jones – Dallas Cowboys
Any owner who has to be on the sidelines every god damn game has serious issues. Any guy who is over 60 and has his face stretched with surgery to look younger has even bigger issues. And finally, any owner who talks down his players and their job security during halftime needs serious help. Outside of our #1 loser owner, this guy irks me to no end. How anyone can support this fraud is beyond me. He built an amazing stadium down there in Dallas I will give credit where it is do. That does not win you football games. Tony Romo, will not win you big football games. Miles Austin got Kardashianed in 2010. The same happened to Reggie Bush, along with Lamar Odom, and whatever other athletes these trollops have been slumming with. Now is this any fault of Jerry’s, absolutely not. I fault Jerry with the way he manages his team, staff, and organization. His public comments are not about the team, they are about him and being in the public eye. Apparently his next of kin is starting to get involved there as well, but they say the Botox lover doesn’t fall far from the tree.

#1 – Al Davis – Oakland Raiders
“Speed, you need lightening fast, Speed!” I can hear that out of the Raiders War Room each draft, a strong resemblance to Mick from Rocky when he is making Rocky chase a chicken around an ally way. Al Davis is not only the laughing stock of the NFL fan base, but of his own fan base as well! Calling plays from the press box, drafting guys based on their 40 yard dash time, firing a coach after bring them back to playing .500 football, trading away your first round pick to the juggernaut of the conference, and just being an overall evil man are some of the reasons why Mr. Davis takes the award for worst owner in the league. I’d never wish death upon anyone, but I bet some of the Raider fans do and have. Al reminds me of either the dude from Saw on his death bed, Jigsaw was his name, or the little goblin from Tales from the Crypt. To top this all off, he entertained the thought of moving to LA. Didn’t they move from LA fifteen or so years ago? Dementia is setting in Raiders fans your wishes are coming true.

Stay tuned for an in depth breakdown of Weeks 4-6 of the Patriots schedule.

Happy Easter to All!

Mike

Feel free to contact me directly at
Email: mike.procopio@gmail.com
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