By: Bob George/
October 06, 2004

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Miami loves foreign kickers. Garo Yepremian. Olindo Mare. And one Uwe von Schamann, the former Oklahoma kicker who cut his teeth with a clutch kick to beat Ohio State and who kicked in the famous 41-38 overtime loss to San Diego in the 1981 playoffs. Mark Henderson never gave him the same professional courtesy he gave John Smith on a snowy day at Foxborough in 1982. von Schamann booms one out of the end zone, and the field he kicked on had nary a snowflake.

If Gary Coleman had no problems with his pituitary gland, when full grown he would have looked like Jacksonville's Byron Leftwich.

The NFL Today crew is united in their belief that if they had one game to win, their quarterback would be Peyton Manning. The other choices were Brett Favre, Donovan McNabb, and a guy who is 2-0 in Super Bowls and 7-0 in overtime games in his career.

Enough snickering, Patriot Nation. Remember, we love this sort of thing.

Said 2-0 in Super Bowls quarterback is in this commercial with John Madden about satellite radio. David Givens has this speaking line: "I thought I was his favorite receiver!”

With Deion Branch out, you are, David.

Feast or famine: In the AFC East, two teams are undefeated, and two teams are winless.

We're wondering what took the San Francisco fans so long to decide that they'd seen enough and head for Fisherman's Wharf.

By the way, Stadium? That's the fourth name of what used to be Candlestick Park. This time, the stadium was named with the visiting team in mind instead of the home team.

All you can say to Jacksonville is this: Nice try.

Most folks think that David Carr turned an important leadership corner this week. But it was a haircut which did it? Interesting.

Geek of the week: Bill Parcells for his most recent 60 Minutes gig, telling Mike Wallace that he gets beaten up now and then by players, and that "the end is always near”, already greasing the skids for the inevitable skipping town before he's done with his work.

Huh? The last head coach to beat Bill Belichick was Steve Spurrier?

Brentson Buckner accused the NFL of coddling Michael Vick, saying that "he's the face of the NFL”. No, he's the face of the undefeated Falcons, the biggest one-man team this side of Wilt Chamberlain.

The Patriots-Bills game was so physical, even referee Johnny Grier was knocked out of the game due to injury (well, it was actually a muscle pull on a long bomb from Drew Bledsoe to Lee Evans, but it's still a neat sidebar to the game).

Is this why Emmitt Smith is still playing? He wanted to throw for a score? Okay, he can quit now, we guess.

Miami offered the wrong job to Dan Marino in the offseason. The correct one would have been "quarterback”.

As if he could do any better, but it may be worth a try.

Don't tell us that Ben Roethlisberger is going to make that Patriots-Steelers tilt later on tougher than we thought.

Even more astonishing in New York than Kurt Warner's success is the fact that Tiki Barber has not yet fumbled this season. And this is a big deal, folks.

You saw Jacksonville lineman John Henderson get slapped upside the head by his trainer, and found yourself wanting him to say "Thank you sir, may I have another?”

Why does Pittsburgh still have Jerome Bettis but no longer has Amos Zereoue?

This is more about Duce Staley, but Zereoue was someone Pittsburgh might have wanted to hold on to.

Back to school: Why is it that small cities like Ann Arbor, Knoxville and Baton Rouge can fill monstrous stadia with regularity on Saturdays, yet NFL stadiums won't approach the 100,000 seating capacity? (Hint: something to do with "luxury boxes”)

How things change. Takeo Spikes and Sam Adams, two vital cogs in last year's shutout, were largely invisible on Sunday. With Adams, the emphasis is on "largely”.

With Lawyer Milloy, the emphasis is on "invisible”. And that's counting all that towel waving.

Now we know that a concussion will not cause Brett Favre to want to come out of a game.

Too bad his coach, Mike Sherman, blew that one. When in doubt, keep him out, coach.

Buffalo is counting the days until the beginning of the J.P. Losman era.

With Drew Brees ordered to play well enough to avoid getting traded, a win against Tennessee is a nice opening salvo.

Jon Gruden is suffering one of the biggest coaching meltdowns in recent memory.

Good grief. Let Jake Plummer wear a number 40 on his helmet.

Rams' punter Sean Landeta is amazing. He is one of the few remaining active players who can say they played in the old USFL. Doug Flutie is another.

Yo, Chiefs: Run Priest Holmes until someone shows they can stop him.

Yo, Ravens: Run Jamal Lewis until someone shows they can stop him.

And that includes Lewis himself. Either he'll get gassed, or he'll get thrown in the hoosegow, one of the two.

Matt Light extended? Now what in the Sam Hill took so long?

Remember him: Let's see how well you know Dolphins history. Dave Wannstedt is head coach number four. Jimmy Johnson is three, Don Shula is two. Yes, two. Who is the other top Fishhead in history? The Dolphins came into the league in 1966, and were coached for their first four years by George Wilson. He was the last Dolphin head coach to preside over an 0-4 start until Wannstedt this year. Just a little perspective on how bad things are right now in Hurricane Alley.

Ugh, Boston and New York. Right around the same time, it could be Sox-Yankees and Patriots-Jets. Remember, the Patriots and Jets have zero combined losses right now.

Bledsoe on a bootleg? Remember, what Buffalo head coach Mike Mularkey knows is more than what you know. Was that Ralph Wilson and Tom Donahoe over in the corner, shuddering?

In Michelle Tafoya, ABC finally found a beauty with a brain, as well as someone who actually knows the job she has to do.

Ask Kyle Boller to win the game for you, and Baltimore is in trouble.

The Dolphins are 4-0. Really. Just ask Bill Belichick. Then ask his players.