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By: Uncle Bully
October 04, 2002

Right Now At
CB Taken
The Patriots selected Cyrus Jones with their first pick in the 2016 draft on Friday night.

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1. Tom Brady: Any lingering misconceptions? I didn't think so.

2. Deion Branch: Causing Fantasy League brawls all over this great country.

3. Lawyer Milloy: One tackle, and the best he can do is, "They're not running my way." I heard the same excuse last week the kid was ten.

4. Teddy Bruschi: Gave a clinic on how not to tackle last week, I hope you kids at home were watching.

5. Charlie Weiss: He's starting to resemble the fastball pitcher who suddenly falls in love with curve ball. Remember Charlie the NFL rewards teams that stay with a physical style of play. 50 passes a game is not physical.

6. Bill Belichick: Yes he's a genius but please tell me why he hasn't figured out that fake end around yet.

7. Antowaine Smith: has a chance at being the first back in the history of the NFL to rush for 12,000 yards. in mop up duty.

8. Donald Hayes: All good things to those who wait.

Some Word Association

9. Kurt Warner: Enron

10. Randy Moss: Michael Rapaport, "How'd he get up there? Get him, shoot him."

11. Brian Griese: Shelprock "Bowzie Wowzie Woo Woo"

12. John Clayton: Weasel

Back to the Pats

13. Big Nickel: I thought it was a good idea but I also thought "New Coke" was a good idea.

14. The Doomed Generation: Can't this team have one year off from your grief. Hey, it's only four more months until pitchers and catchers report.

15. ESPN: Of their 18 "experts" nine picked the Jets to win the AFC east. I don't have anything to add to that.

16. On the Way Up: David Patten, Marc Edwards, Christian Fauria

17. On the Way Down: Roman Phifer, JR Redmond

18. On the Way Out: Anthony Pleasant, O.T.I.S.

19. Pursuit Drills!! Pursuit Drills!! Pursuit Drills!!!

20. And with the 12th pick (from Buffalo) the Patriots select linebacker from Maryland..