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By: Uncle Bully
October 04, 2002

Police report puts $500,000 price tag on Tom Brady’s missing Super Bowl LI jersey
Robert Kraft on Patriots detractors: 'We'll do our best to keep them in that position'
Alabama hires Patriots assistant Brian Daboll to run offense
Jimmy Garoppolo trying to ignore trade speculation
Police report pegs value of Tom Brady's missing jersey at $500,000


1. Tom Brady: Any lingering misconceptions? I didn't think so.

2. Deion Branch: Causing Fantasy League brawls all over this great country.

3. Lawyer Milloy: One tackle, and the best he can do is, "They're not running my way." I heard the same excuse last week the kid was ten.

4. Teddy Bruschi: Gave a clinic on how not to tackle last week, I hope you kids at home were watching.

5. Charlie Weiss: He's starting to resemble the fastball pitcher who suddenly falls in love with curve ball. Remember Charlie the NFL rewards teams that stay with a physical style of play. 50 passes a game is not physical.

6. Bill Belichick: Yes he's a genius but please tell me why he hasn't figured out that fake end around yet.

7. Antowaine Smith: has a chance at being the first back in the history of the NFL to rush for 12,000 yards. in mop up duty.

8. Donald Hayes: All good things to those who wait.

Some Word Association

9. Kurt Warner: Enron

10. Randy Moss: Michael Rapaport, "How'd he get up there? Get him, shoot him."

11. Brian Griese: Shelprock "Bowzie Wowzie Woo Woo"

12. John Clayton: Weasel

Back to the Pats

13. Big Nickel: I thought it was a good idea but I also thought "New Coke" was a good idea.

14. The Doomed Generation: Can't this team have one year off from your grief. Hey, it's only four more months until pitchers and catchers report.

15. ESPN: Of their 18 "experts" nine picked the Jets to win the AFC east. I don't have anything to add to that.

16. On the Way Up: David Patten, Marc Edwards, Christian Fauria

17. On the Way Down: Roman Phifer, JR Redmond

18. On the Way Out: Anthony Pleasant, O.T.I.S.

19. Pursuit Drills!! Pursuit Drills!! Pursuit Drills!!!

20. And with the 12th pick (from Buffalo) the Patriots select linebacker from Maryland..


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